Movie Review ~ Midnight in the Switchgrass

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The Facts:

Synopsis: While in Florida on another case, FBI agents cross paths with a state cop who is investigating a string of female murders that appear to be related. When an undercover sting goes horribly wrong, it plunges the team into grave danger and pitting them against a serial killer in a twisted game of cat and mouse.

Stars: Megan Fox, Bruce Willis, Emile Hirsch, Lukas Haas, Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly), Caitlin Carmichael, Sistine Stallone

Director: Randall Emmett

Rated: R

Running Length: 99 minutes

TMMM Score: (1/10)

Review:  I think we all need to stop and have some kind of memorial service for the Bruce Willis we once knew.  The Bruce Willis of the 1980’s and 1990’s who gave us some of the most memorable action movies out there.  The risk-taking Bruce Willis who went blonde for Luc Besson in The Fifth Element and went in the buff for Richard Rush in Color of Night.  This was the Bruce Willis married to Demi Moore who was part owner of Planet Hollywood and looked like he enjoyed making movies and being a member of the Hollywood A-List.  Scanning over the last several years of films on the IMDb credits for Willis, it’s clear this version of him is gone.

It’s hard to even call what Willis is doing in Midnight in the Switchgrass acting because he’s basically “present” in the film more than anything.  Sitting most of the time and only standing/moving in blink and you missed it moments, Willis has made a habit of this type of show-up-and-speak kind of roles that represent a sorry state of affairs for the actor that used to have so much pull in Hollywood.  If Midnight in the Switchgrass had been a better movie, this type of appearance might be just a minor bummer because you’d wish Willis had wanted to participate more.  Sadly, the movie is resoundingly terrible and now the lack of energy Willis shows in his appearance only signals what the audience will feel after sitting through this ungainly schlock which never figures out who the star is or what mood it wants to set.

Someone is abducting vulnerable women and leaving their bodies (not in the switchgrass!) along various roadways.  Pretty early on in Alan Horsnail’s leaden script, we find out that someone is truck driver/family man Peter (Lukas Haas, First Man, forever trying to extricate himself from his baby-faced child acting days) and his ugly, backward attitudes toward women (the ones he kills and otherwise) are laid on so thick you wonder if Horsnail is making a point or just exacerbating one.  His latest catch wanders out in a drug haze from a motel that also happens to be the site of an FBI sting operation originally set to trap him – what a coincidence.

Though she purposely set out to trap Peter, beautiful (but tough!) FBI agent Rebecca (Megan Fox, What to Expect When You’re Expecting) instead nabs a disgusting pimp (the equally disgusting Colson Baker aka Machine Gun Kelly, Fox’s real-life boyfriend) and their grueling matching of {nit}wits make an already lengthy first act set-up that much longer.  Sitting out in the car listening to all this and constantly threatening to “come in there!” is Karl (Willis, Glass), Rebecca’s partner who thinks she’s playing with fire tempting a killer out of hiding.

Also looking for the killer is state police office Byron (Emile Hirsch, The Autopsy of Jane Doe), who arrives at the scene of a victim and makes some stunning conclusions on motive and method having seen ¼ of the crime scene.  After promising the mother of the victim that he’ll find the killer, after sitting through her looooong story that is only important because it gives us the title reference, he ditches all other responsibilities (and his weepy wife played by Here After’s Jackie Cruz in a thankless role) and eventually teams up with Rebecca to track Peter down.  Doing some good old fashioned detective work, the film hits some sort of mild stride when the younger cops work together, only to be quickly flattened by a drawn-out finale that just sort of slumps over and gives up.

Director Randall Emmett makes his feature directorial debut after producing, wait for it, 119 movies, the bulk of those within the last 10 years.  Even the most prolific producer can’t have quality control over 20 good movies over 10 years…so that should tell you why there are multiple gaffes in the film, evidence of a shoddy production where even relatively smart actors like Fox and Hirsch get tripped up every now and then.  Recently on a redemptive streak and scoring in Till Death just a few weeks back, Fox is dragged down by the man in her life (Machine Gun Kelly) and her scene partner (Willis), both of whom give her little to work with.  When she’s left to her own devices, the movie at least gets somewhat interesting.  Hirsch oversells his role to the extreme, but at least he’s hawking something…even if he fully changes accents several times throughout the film and at one point even adopts a lisp for a brief scene. 

This is a cheap, stupid, pointless excuse of a film that represents nothing but $$$ for everyone involved.  It will keep the lights on in whatever lake cabin they have or perhaps an acting class or two for some of the local supporting cast that desperately need it.  It doesn’t meet the demands for the thriller genre and Midnight in the Switchgrass certainly won’t cut it as an action suspense picture.  I suggest firing up the lawnmower and cutting this weed down to the root.

Movie Review ~ 47 Meters Down: Uncaged


The Facts
:

Synopsis: Four teen girls diving in a ruined underwater city quickly learn they’ve entered the territory of the deadliest shark species in the claustrophobic labyrinth of submerged caves.

Stars: Sophie Nélisse, Corinine Foxx, John Corbett, Sistine Stallone, Brianne Tju, Nia Long, Davi Santos, Khylin Rhambo, Brec Bassinger

Director: Johannes Roberts

Rated: PG-13

Running Length: 90 minutes

TMMM Score: (7/10)

Review: Two years ago, a minor miracle happened when the newly formed (and creatively named) Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures bought a movie called In the Deep.  Though it had been released on DVD in the U.S. already, that didn’t bother the company who saw potential to capitalize on the lack of creature features swimming into theaters.  Renaming the film 47 Meters Down and giving it a prime June release date, the studio gambled big and reaped the rewards of their low budget movie that saw big box office returns.  At the time, I had heard a sequel was being planned but details were scarce on what was being sold as 48 Meters Down.  I’d all but forgotten about the sharky follow-up until a preview arrived shortly before 47 Meters Down: Uncaged was released.

Usually, these sequels can go seriously awry because of a lack of creative input.  The original did so well so why not just follow the same plot, add a few more deaths, and call it a day?  Thankfully, this sequel decides to go a different route and in many ways improves upon its predecessor by upping the ante not just with the script but for the filmmakers too.  Sure, there are more characters to deal with and an almost pathological need to scare the audience by jolting them with sneak attacks but the overall effect is a highly watchable and not quite implausible underwater thriller.  Where the first movie made good use of a limited setting and an ever-present feeling of claustrophobia, the sequel opens things up slightly but still finds a way to keep things contained in a small scareground.

Living with her dad (John Corbett, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2) and his new wife (Nia Long, in this so briefly she doesn’t even appear in the opening credits) in Mexico, Mia (Sophie Nélisse, The Book Thief) is having trouble fitting into her new surroundings.  Her stepsister Sasha (Corinne Foxx) could care less about her, preferring to hang with her friends Alexa (Brianne Tju) and Nicole (Sistine Stallone).   With her dad busy researching a recently discovered submerged Mayan city, Mia is pawned off on Sasha and her friends for the day.  As this is a movie about a shark and being trapped underwater, I appreciated the filmmakers deemed it worthy to make the time on dry ground count, even if it’s a broken family set-up straight out of a soap opera and acted with about as much gusto.  Though their parents believe they are going on a boat tour, the stepsisters actually trek into the forest where Alexa shows them a hidden lagoon.

Now, it just so happens Alexa has gotten chummy (pardon the pun) with a research assistant to Mia’s dad and the lagoon sits on top of the entrance to the Mayan city.  Desperate for a little adventure, the girls decide to scuba down into the city and look through the first cave before returning to the surface.  Once they get in, though, a bad decision leads to them being stuck in the labyrinthine city…and they’re not alone.  How a Great White shark came to be in the city is anyone’s guess but over time the shark has acclimated to the dark waters and is blind, hunting only by its already heightened senses.  As the girls struggle to find another way out the shark blocks their advances and with their air supply running thin, will they reach the surface before they become shark bait?

Y’know, in some ways it would have been wonderful if the shark aspect of the 47 Meters Down: Uncaged could have been a twist that wasn’t revealed in any of the marketing materials.  The first appearance of the CGI shark is genuinely scary and though it often looks like a computer-generated creature there are enough solid moments to make you forgive the bad ones.  Already in a precarious situation being trapped with a limited air supply, the added complexity of evading a predator puts extra pressure on the women (and consistent tension on audiences) over the remaining 60 minutes and returning director Johannes Roberts uses every minute wisely.

Performances are, for the most part, admirable in the face of some silly dialogue and implausible technology used throughout the film.   At first, Nélisse was such a mumbling noodle lacking the charisma of a leading lady that I worried the movie would suffer from not being able to root for her but she comes around once she has to rise to the occasion and get out of the path of the shark.  Foxx and especially Tju are good supporting characters while Stallone (yes, she’s Sly’s daughter in her first role) unfortunately carries on the family name with lazily slurring most of her lines.  Even so, when you consider the vast majority of the movie was filmed underwater and considering what an undertaking that must have been, the end result overcomes any leaky spots in a slightly rusty bucket.

Roberts seems to treat the entire movie like a pot of boiling water he keeps turning the temperature up on.  Once the heat gets applied there’s no letting up…all the way until the credits roll.  There are several false endings that maybe go on too long but I was having such a good time splashing around in the water that I didn’t mind.  Like the first movie, this one would be fun to see in the theaters but would also work perfectly well on the small screen as a rainy day option.  It’s short running time goes by quickly and the creative set-up held my interest more than I thought it would.  If this is the way Roberts plots out a sequel, I’m all for giving him the opportunity to take us down for a third dive with the sharks in another few years.