31 Days to Scare ~ The Guardian (1990)

The Facts:

Synopsis: It’s every parent’s worst fear as a couple’s live-in babysitter’s true intentions are revealed, and a battle for the newborn baby’s soul ensues.
Stars: Jenny Seagrove, Dwier Brown, Carey Lowell, Brad Hall, Miguel Ferrer, Natalia Nogulich, Pamela Brull, Gary Swanson, Jack David Walker, Willy Parsons, Frank Noon, Theresa Randle, Ray Reinhardt
Director: William Friedkin
Rated: R
Running Length: 92 minutes
TMMM Score: (X/10)
Review: By the time Oscar-winning director William Friedkin joined production of The Guardian in 1989, the film was already struggling. Losing its original director, Sam Raimi, to a greenlit production of the now cult classic Darkman, some doubted the once revered director could turn the project into the hit Universal wanted. After all, Friedkin hadn’t had a movie commercially released since 1985’s To Live and Die in L.A. the last film he produced, Rampage, was filmed in 1987 but went unreleased until 1992 after extensive reworking.

When Friedkin did come aboard, the adaptation of Dan Greenburg’s 1987 novel The Nanny underwent its own reworking to less than spectacular results. Friedkin implemented his current fascination with druid mythology, sending original screenwriter Stephen Volk toward a nervous breakdown. With Friedkin finishing the script and making it more of a folk horror film drawing from tree-worshipping lore than a more straightforward supernatural form of menace, The Guardian became less cohesive and faulty in structure. Instead of the hyped Friedkin return to form everyone hoped for, it was more of a signal that a once successful director had lost his edge. 

Greenburg’s original novel focused on a vampiric nanny who drove a wedge between an East Coast family. Friedkin’s version finds Chicago transplants Phil and Kate Sterling moving to Los Angeles when Phil (Dwier Brown, The Cutting Edge) gets a job at a vague advertising agency. Kate (Carey Lowell, License to Kill) is an interior designer but quickly becomes pregnant and, almost within the same beat, has her baby boy, Jake. In their fancy ‘90s home in the hills, they need to pay the bills, so when Kate goes back to work, they hire a nanny, and when their first choice is eliminated via bike accident (it’s never clear if she is killed or seriously injured), Camilla (Jenny Seagrove) comes to stay. Camilla is gorgeous, European, and gives off such weird energy that you almost can’t believe Kate’s maternal instincts would allow her to agree to her employment. 

Friedkin deals Kate/Lowell such a dirty hand here by making the mother a complete dodo. It’s an interesting swapping of responsibilities because, most often, the dad isn’t an active participant in these stories. In The Guardian, Phil is the protagonist of most of the action. Kate is barely present and doesn’t even know she has a child. Late in the film, when a doctor examines her barely two-month-old, he asks her when he was last fed, and she answers, “I don’t know, earlier, around lunchtime.”  Around lunchtime? Tell me, when was the last time you heard a mother of a newborn, a first-time mother, not give a specific time a baby was fed? Lowell is a decent actress, but even she can’t save her character from coming off like a complete nitwit; she never mounts any defense against her child, often letting Camilla do whatever she wants.

Eventually, we learn that Camilla has been the nanny for several families with newborns, waiting until they have reached a certain age and then sacrificing them to a scary-looking tree in the forest. (You’d think that a tree so centrally located would have raised the suspicion of local police?). While impressively constructed, the tree factors into a few unintentionally hilarious scenes of violence where it attacks hoodlums and Phil, but it also outacts Brown (who is way over his head) at times. Friedkin stretches the short run time far too long but gets in a few chills via a protracted chase sequence featuring Brad Hall as a neighbor interested in Camilla who catches her in the forest having one-on-one time with her tree.

Unsurprisingly, The Guardian was a bomb when it opened but has gained a low-key cult status over the years. It’s admittedly a chunk of goofy cheese fun at times, and that scene where a pack of wolves stalks the neighbor gets frightening and reminds you of the tension Friedkin created in films like The French Connection and The Exorcist. Friedkin wouldn’t make another feature for four years (Blue Chips) and never would fully regain his box office clout. Fans of the director, who passed away in 2023, leaving a career full of these intriguing asides, will want to check this one out to see how his fascination could influence a production so fully…but keep those expectations low.

31 Days to Scare ~ The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)

The Facts:

Synopsis: A timid typesetter hasn’t a ghost of a chance of becoming a reporter – until he decides to solve a murder mystery and ends up spending a fright-filled night in a haunted house.
Stars: Don Knotts, Joan Staley, Liam Redmond, Skip Homeier, Dick Sargent, Reta Shaw, Lurene Tuttle, Philip Ober
Director: Alan Rafkin
Rated: G
Running Length: 90 minutes
TMMM Score: (8/10)
Review:  Growing up, from an early age, I can remember The Andy Griffith Show being on constantly in the background. Both my parents had been kids when it originally aired, and it brought them the warm nostalgia that led their generation to create Nick at Nite, beaming reruns out to the early adopters of cable television. As a second-generation consumer of the show, the homespun lessons and charm didn’t go unappreciated. Still, at the time, it was a roadblock to cartoons or more “serious” shows like The Incredible Hulk and The Six-Million Dollar Man. I do know that I learned to whistle by way of its famous theme song.

The absolute breakout star of that lauded series was Don Knotts, and after winning five Primetime Emmy Awards for his role as lovable Deputy Barney Fife, he left the series for greener pastures in 1966. By greener, I meant a higher-paying career in the movies. After the success of 1964’s The Incredible Mr. Limpet, Knotts was encouraged to try on the role of leading man, and his first project after departing the safety of his long-tenured job was The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. This film, drafted by two writers from The Andy Griffith Show by request of Knotts himself, was tailor-made for the actor, playing to his strengths and expanding on the charisma that had so endeared him to audiences until that point.

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken is one movie that sticks out like a beacon in my brain, as it was frequently rebroadcasted during my childhood. Revisiting it recently reminded me how effortlessly watchable it is, maintaining a light-hearted spring in its step throughout. It may suggest scares in its title, and true, there is a mystery to uncover, but it’s of the Scooby-Doo variety and akin to a big-screen adventure of Barney Fife had he moved out of Mayberry and set up shop in a new town.   

Knotts plays Luther Heggs from Rachel, Kansas, who dreams of becoming a reporter for the Rachel Courier Express. Toiling away as a typesetter, he’s ignored by editor George Beckett (Dick Sargent, aka Darren #2 on Bewitched) and teased by star reporter Ollie Weaver (Skip Homeier). Ollie also happens to be dating Alma Parker (Joan Staley), a beauty that the nervous Luther has long pined for. Luther gets an opportunity to pen a big-time story when a puff piece he writes on an infamous mansion, the site of a murder-suicide years before, becomes the talk of the town. 

When his editor assigns him to spend the night in the supposedly haunted house on the anniversary of the tragic event and then report back on his spooky stay, Luther takes it as a sign that he might finally get the job of his dreams…and perhaps the girl (Alma) of them too. When the night arrives, the creepy house reveals several secrets that send the town into a tizzy, making Luther a local hero but the target of its owner, who is now unable to sell the house because of its possessed state. Can Luther stop his knees shaking long enough to prove in a court of law that the house is haunted? And is it haunted, or is something else mysterious at play?

There is something soothing about watching movies like The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. Filmed on the backlot of Universal Studios in Hollywood, you’ll be able to spot several locations that have shown up in many movies over the years. You’ll also pick out the faces of familiar supporting players from film and TV, and I liked knowing that they all drove in every morning, parked their cars, ate lunch together, and made this spirited film. It’s nothing mind-blowing in terms of story, effects, acting, or directing (though I will say the oft-repeated music cues burrow into your brain), but what shows is professionalism at its most efficient. Knotts is a riot and could have likely acted in the film alone, and The Ghost and Mr. Chicken would have been nearly as entertaining. The ensemble, especially a host of old ladies playing members of Luther’s boarding house or busybodies, is often a hoot.

I’ve offered several films so far this season that might be too much to handle for those who don’t find horror their bag. The Ghost and Mr. Chicken is that horror-lite selection you can choose if you want to say you watched a horror movie this year without giving yourself a nightmare while you do it. I think you’ll find this one as entertaining as I did.

31 Days to Scare ~ Eye of the Cat (1969)

The Facts:

Synopsis: A man and his girlfriend plan to rob the mansion of the man’s eccentric but wealthy aunt. However, the aunt keeps dozens of cats in her home, and the man is deathly afraid of cats.
Stars: Michael Sarrazin, Gayle Hunnicutt, Eleanor Parker, Tim Henry, Laurence Naismith
Director: David Lowell Rich
Rated: NR
Running Length: 102 minutes
TMMM Score: (8/10)
Review:  The one thing I don’t do nearly enough of every year for this series is travel back to a time when they truly cranked out horror films. Twenty days in, I often find myself scrambling for titles that I haven’t covered (or want to cover) but then realize that I haven’t even crept up to the edge of the bountiful time when Hollywood leaned into the growing craze for double-bill entertainment and drive-in fare. In truth, most of these are often bland carbon copies of each other, with the studios doing what they still do today: finding a hook that works and continuing to let it wriggle out money until it’s dead. Every so often, a fabulous find like Eye of the Cat slinks into your lap, renewing your commitment to exploring each cobwebbed corner of the horror film vault.

A Universal Studios production, this comes with some prestige to it. Written by Joseph Stefano, the screenwriter of Psycho (1960) and starring Eleanor Parker (the Baroness in The Sound of Music), Eye of the Cat was directed by David Lowell Rich. Rich was the director of the TV movie 1964’s See How They Run (the first movie produced for the medium), which gave network executives the blueprint for the made-for-television film. He was also behind the camera for the popular Lana Turner movie Madame X in 1966. Nabbing hot new stars Michael Sarrazin (They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? also arrived in 1969) and Gayle Hunnicutt (appearing in Marlowe the same year) was another win.

So, with all of these factors in its favor, why is Eye of the Cat not that well known? While it has gone on to become a modest cult hit with its strong devotees, it retains its share of detractors for having some semblance of a trashy vibe. I think it’s a hot-wired thriller laced with campy melodrama that bogs it down at critical moments. With all that on the table, the premise is so good and the execution so delightfully “studio” that it’s a must-see in my book.

Parker (Home for the Holidays) plays a wealthy woman living in San Francisco dying of emphysema. (You’ll hear about how the disease has taken 2/3 of her lung tissue several dozen times throughout.)  Charged with the care of her two young nephews after their parents died, only Luke (Tim Henry) remains with her as a grown adult. It’s Wylie (Sarrazin, The Seduction) that Aunt Danny worries about and longs to have back in her life, though, and ever since he left, she has found comfort in a menagerie of cats that has taken Wylie’s place in her heart…and her will. She’s shared all this information with Kassia (Hunnicut), the beautician she visits regularly and has recently had a severe health emergency in the presence of. 

With her client declining rapidly due to the illness, Kassia sets into motion a plan long in development. She’s located Wylie and entices him to return to his aunt’s well-appointed mansion and again get back in her good graces. After he returns to the will, Kassia will kill her and take a cut of the inheritance Wylie stands to receive. There’s just one tiny issue Kassia failed to tell Wylie about. The cats. A childhood trauma at his aunt’s has left him paralyzed with a fear of cats, and he can’t complete his task or compete with the felines until they are out of the way. An old wife’s tale says a cat will always come back, but when a cat knows it isn’t wanted and that someone plans to hurt its owner, it will return…with plans of its own.

From its opening moments featuring a cat prowling around the city, first as a stylized overlay and then the real thing (the main cat is a mischievous-looking orange tabby), Eye of the Cat is a spooky movie that rarely pumps the brakes. Like Stefano’s script for Psycho, it bears down on the audience and doesn’t give much explanation or set-up. It would be best if you got on board, kept up, or were left in the dust. The film’s beginning feels disjointed because Stefano and Rich drop you right into the action without much establishment of whom we’re watching; it’s only later that gaps are filled in. There’s also some disappointing sag in the middle of the film when Wylie and Kassia go out for a night at a swinging ’60s head club which ends with girls in very short mini skirts rolling around fighting/hair-pulling. If you’re watching the movie, fast-forward past this part because it adds nothing but extra time to the film.

Instead, focus on the great work Parker is doing. It could have been easy for Parker to take a Joan Crawford-sized bite out of the role (and Crawford would have been a more obvious choice while giving a less interesting performance). Still, she shows a restraint that favors heightened suspicion over nagging paranoia and growing fear rather than over-the-top terror regarding the people in her house trying to do her in. There’s a marvelous bit where Parker is in a wheelchair, perched precariously at the top of an infamous San Francisco hill and struggling to keep from falling backward. A cat is sauntering up from behind her, and her nephew is coming toward her, and we aren’t sure who means her more harm…and neither is she. Brilliant.

The supporting players are also strong, with Hunnicut being a swell femme fatale that might be playing both brothers against each other but is absolutely hiding something from Wylie. I’ve always found Sarrazin to be an appealing actor but never someone to actively root for. He’s a bit insufferable by design here, but the extra layer of subterfuge he’s pulling makes the character even harder to stomach. I hadn’t seen (or remembered) Henry before, but he’s a handsome leading man, and you feel bad Parker’s character ignores him as she does. However, perhaps she knows something we don’t. There is the suggestion of some impropriety between aunt and nephew, but this was 1969, and a hint is all we get.

The finale of Eye of the Cat was nicely built up and so extreme that when it was aired on network TV, the studio had to refilm the ending to be “less intense.” It’s pretty tense but not as nail-biting as it sounds nor as perfectly satisfying as it could be. I would be interested to see if they remade this today, even as a short in a longer anthology. Eye of the Cat would work nicely as a 45–50-minute chapter of something more gothic and centered around San Francisco’s impressive architecture. Featuring a lush, spine-tingling score by Lalo Schifrin (Tales of Halloween), Eye of the Cat was a pleasant surprise and a title I’d share with friends interested in something different than the same old Halloween rotation of movies.

Movie Review ~ Ticket to Paradise

The Facts:

Synopsis: A divorced couple travels to Bali to stop their daughter from making the same mistake they think they made 25 years ago.
Stars: George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Kaitlyn Dever, Billie Lourd, Maxime Bouttier, Lucas Bravo
Director: Ol Parker
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 104 minutes
TMMM Score: (8/10)
Review: School may have started in early September, but Oscar winners George Clooney and Julia Roberts are about to give audiences of all ages a massive chemistry lesson when Ticket to Paradise opens in theaters this October. It’s as easy as that. The two movie stars (if ever there was a definitive epitome of one, they would share the title) are massively successful in their own right and longtime friends, having starred in two popular Oceans 11 films together. Both are in constant demand to star in high-profile projects, yet here they are in a commercial vehicle that isn’t a stretch for either and plays directly to their strengths.

While this rom-com may appear to be a warmed-over retread of a familiar formula, don’t let Ticket to Paradise fool you. There’s more going on in director Ol Parker’s sunny Bali-set comedy than you’d expect. Heck, I thought I knew each beat the movie would take after a preview that appears to give away nearly everything that happened. Admittedly, this isn’t Shakespeare, but Parker and co-screenwriter Daniel Pipski have done their homework and know what made these breezy comedies blockbusters back in the day. Put your charming stars front and center, give them material to work with that isn’t beneath their talent, and then let the professionals do their job.

Long divorced, architect David Cotton (Clooney, The Monuments Men) and his ex Georgia (Roberts, Ben is Back) can only agree on one positive that emerged from their brief union: their daughter, Lily (Kaitlyn Dever, Rosaline). When the film opens, Lily is negotiating a truce between her oft-bickering parents over their seating at her upcoming graduation. Though she promises they’ll be sitting far apart, when the day arrives, they’re shoulder to shoulder, vying to be seen as the most supportive parent to their child. As they send Lily off to Bali with friend Wren (Billie Lourd, Booksmart) for a mini-vacation before she begins her career in law, David and Georgia know this is the last time they’ll have to see one another in quite some time.

A month later, Lily has met and fallen in love with Balinese seaweed farmer Gede (Maxime Bouttier) and informs her parents that plans have changed for the career for which they’d all planned. Furthermore, she intends to marry Gede within a week. United in their belief Lily is making the wrong choice, David and Georgia travel to Bali under the guise of supporting their daughter when they’ve truly come to work to sabotage the wedding. Throughout the weeklong ceremonies leading up to the marriage, the entire group will learn about the bonds of family, forgiveness, embracing change, and jumping in feet first to love’s most excellent adventure.

Ticket to Paradise is the kind of film they made back in the day before you could reserve your ticket online or over the phone. When you had to wait in line at the box office where maybe you got almost to the front when a voice over the loudspeaker announced your showing was sold out, but you could buy a ticket for the next one. The tension! Those were the days. It’s refreshingly uncomplicated in a beautiful sort of way. It wouldn’t be long before romantic comedies had to have an “edge” to them. That could be a sinister evil new boy/girlfriend, a scheming inlaw/boss that threatens to screw up the Big Event more than our leads could, or added raunch to goose the demand for a new type of comedy.

You also have to appreciate the way Parker and Pipski write the ex-Cottons. If the two bicker too bitterly, the audience will turn against them because they are insufferable; take away their bite, and you lose the comedy. The Clooney/Roberts pairing, coupled with some easy-handed direction from Parker, keeps them likable and hard to hold any grudges against. Parker also includes scenes between Gede and his parents, showing viewers both sides of parental relationships.

Whether it’s Clooney’s crinkly-eyed smile or Roberts’s mega-watt grin followed by that infectious loud whoop of a laugh, both actors trot out their secret weapons whenever the mood suits them. And it suits us just fine, too. You hardly ever want to be apart from this pairing, and when you do, the film shifts into a lower gear to no one else’s fault. That means Lourd and Lucas Bravo (Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris), as Georgia’s pilot boyfriend, feel underdeveloped as characters and not the mere sounding boards they wind up hanging around as.

To discredit the effort put in here, even if the finale writes itself from the start, is not to recognize the role of the movie star in Hollywood. Some movies are based on existing properties studios develop and hope to become a franchise they can repeat ad nauseam via a pre-programmed formula. Then there are the movies like Ticket to Paradise, original works that are constructed around the personalities and working relationships of its two most profitable (and likable) stars. I’d take more Tickets to Paradise than any five hoped-for franchise starters any day.

Movie Review ~ Jurassic World Dominion

The Facts:

Synopsis: Dinosaurs now live—and hunt—alongside humans all over the world. This fragile balance will reshape the future and determine, once and for all, whether human beings are to remain the apex predators on a planet they now share with history’s most fearsome creatures.
Stars: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill, DeWanda Wise, Isabella Sermon,  Mamoudou Athie, Campbell Scott, BD Wong, Omar Sy, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, Scott Haze, Dichen Lachman
Director: Colin Trevorrow
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 146 minutes
Trailer Review: Here
TMMM Score: (6/10)
Review:  Recently, I was asked to list a handful of my most memorable summer movie experiences. Seeing Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of Michael Crichton’s novel Jurassic Park in June of 1993 easily came in at #1. There was something so special about that time, a pre-internet era where all you had to go on before a movie was released were clips shown on entertainment news programs or movie magazines tailored to your interests. For this movie in particular, so much was kept under wraps beforehand that audiences truly had no little idea about what was in store for them. I miss having those unspoiled viewing pleasures, and in the decades since Jurassic Park opened its doors, the odds of walking blindly into a film have decreased every time society introduced a new social media platform.

When Universal Studios revitalized the Jurassic franchise in 2015 with the super-blockbuster Jurassic World, many of those same early feelings of excitement came back to me. New director Colin Trevorrow (Safety Not Guaranteed), personally selected by Spielberg, took the reins with that same sense of fun and adventure. Even if nothing would match the spirit of the original visit to the park (including The Lost World: Jurassic Park in 1997 and Jurassic Park III in 2001), I was thrilled with what the creative team had worked up. Trevorrow wasn’t on hand for 2018’s Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom, which suffered as previous sequels did with being set in a climate that didn’t feel contained enough to create appropriate tension. I liked it better than my colleagues, but it didn’t move the dial like it should (or could) have. 

For the supposed final film (at least in this trilogy), Trevorrow has returned and brought back the trio of original co-stars from Spielberg’s first outing. That alone is worth booking passage to Jurassic World Dominion, but audiences will have to wade through a fair share of thorny underbrush in this 146-minute finale ultimo. Boasting surprisingly less than cutting edge special effects, some downright silly contrivances, and performances from dinosaurs that often best the humans they are acting alongside, you’ll want to see it with a packed audience to get your maximum enjoyment. They’ll help smooth out the rocky ride between the star attractions if they’re anything like my enthusiastic crowd.

In the four years following the events of Fallen Kingdom, when the dinosaurs escaped their island and integrated into the ecosystem around the world, most of the population has grown accustomed to seeing these bio-engineered creatures roaming the globe. Exploited to varying degrees for their exotic appeal, they’ve gone beyond park attractions to curiosities you can own as a status symbol or wield as a tool against an enemy. That’s what a growing horde of pre-historic locusts is doing, decimating crops not planted with a synthetic seed from seemingly benign company Biosyn Genetics led by a character that will be familiar to trivia buffs of the first film. While Campbell Scott (The Amazing Spider-Man) didn’t play this part back then, it’s a wise choice to have an actor of his stature (and oddity) take over.

Researching the raging locusts is Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern, Little Women), who has been tipped off by old friend Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum, The Grand Budapest Hotel) that Biosyn is behind the revived insects and gets her access to their private labs in the Dolomite Mountains. She needs an experienced witness to vouch for her findings and turns to former flame Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill, Dead Calm) to fly with her and provide a second set of trained eyes. Little do they know it, but Biosyn is also a sanctuary for many of the dinosaurs that have been rounded up from around the world, and they’re about to welcome another set of visitors to the facility under very different circumstances.

After escaping with the first human clone, Maisie (Isabella Sermon), Clare (Bryce Dallas Howard, Rocketman), and Owen (Chris Pratt, The Tomorrow War) are trying to keep her hidden in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Not only did she release the dinos into the wild to begin with, but her very existence is valuable to scientists seeking to do good and evil. Staying close by is Velociraptor Blue, still ornery but keeping an eye on a new baby raptor Maisie nicknamed Beta. When both Maisie and Blue are captured by Biosyn cronies, Clare and Owen team up with a non-nonsense former Air Force Pilot (DeWanda Wise, The Harder They Fall) to break into Biosyn and retrieve both precious assets.

Much of Jurassic World Dominion is spent with the two stories working separately from one another, and only one holds much interest. That would be the thread that follows Dern and Neill (and sometimes Goldblum) as they travel to Biosyn and get a lay of the mysterious lab/land. Meeting up with Scott and his team (including franchise stalwart B.D. Wong, The Space Between Us, still causing nefarious trouble and then feeling guilty after), one can’t help but be reminded of their trip to Jurassic Park…and Treverrow doesn’t let you forget it thanks to several Easter Egg callbacks to the original. These are fun, audience-pleasing moments that land with welcome warmth. 

On the other side, Howard and Pratt are heading up the more action-heavy side of things, globe-trotting from the Sierra Nevadas to Malta before heading to Biosyn.  All of this added movement does little to stir up much in the way of tension, despite some decent attempts from Howard to get into the action and shockingly little effort from Pratt to do anything more than the minimum required to move from one scene to the next. It’s like Pratt forgot what he liked about being in movies in the first place. He’s never been close to a movie star, but now he’s not even working to prove it anymore. His process is starting to show, never changing up his look or approach, and it’s never more evident here. Wise can get a few good moments out of him, but even her material is so weak that you can sometimes feel her wanting to roll her eyes and the tired dialogue she has to say. 

Frustratingly non-committal in certain areas (count how many people get snacked on in comparison to how many dinosaurs get finished off) and tossing whatever light science was present early on right out the door (T-Rex suddenly loses all sense of smell here), Jurassic World Dominion has a handful of thrill-park esque sequences that are effective but double the number of slogs that could have been so much more. It feels like two partial movies that never got finished smashed into one…I wish more time were spent fleshing out the revisit with our old friends rather than trying to make time for the newbies. Then you’d have a movie worth waiting in line all day for.

The Silver Bullet ~ Jurassic World: Dominion


Synopsis: The epic conclusion of the Jurassic era.
Release Date:  June 10, 2022
Thoughts:  I have friendly neighbors who never would have called the police on me today when I screamed watching this new trailer for Jurassic World: Dominion.  If the police had arrived, I would have invited them in and brought them to the part of the first full look at the sixth film in the long-running franchise when original stars Laura Dern, Sam Neill, and Jeff Goldblum appeared.  Actually, more like when Dern shows up and reunites with Neill in a setting that feels familiar to those that remember how the first movie began. 

This lightning bolt of nostalgia is just one of many thrills to be had in this maxed-out ride through the adventure awaiting audiences in the final chapter of a trilogy that began with 2015’s Jurassic World.  Though 2018’s sequel Fallen Kingdom didn’t meet the expectations of many, I appreciated its gentle attempt at pivoting.  Under the guidance of the first chapter’s director Colin Trevorrow and backed by a humungous production, the series has clearly course-corrected in a significant way.  Did I tear up a bit during this trailer?  Unashamedly I nod my head yes.  Already high on my list of anticipated films of 2022, Jurassic World: Dominion is now in the #1 slot.

Movie Review ~ Marry Me

1

The Facts:

Synopsis: Music superstars Kat Valdez and Bastian are getting married before a global audience of fans. When Kat learns that Bastian has been unfaithful, seconds before her vows, she decides to marry Charlie, a stranger in the crowd, instead.
Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Maluma, Chloe Coleman, Sarah Silverman
Director: Kat Corio
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 112 minutes
TMMM Score: (8/10)
Review:  After more than twenty-five years in the movie industry, I think it’s fair to say that multi-hyphenate performer Jennifer Lopez knows what works for her and what doesn’t. Choosing her film roles selectively and with an eye on not just the exposure for her as an actress but as a musician and entertainer, Lopez is a global icon instantly recognizable wherever she goes. Early in her career, she entered the hallowed halls of romantic comedy queendom, scoring a hat trick with 2001’s The Wedding Planner, 2002’s Maid in Manhattan, and 2005’s Monster-in-Law.  Though she’s appeared in other popular films and earned good notices before, during, and after these releases, that trio of dependable winners is the most mentioned when speaking of JLo’s film endeavors.

It’s been a while since Lopez had that level of monster genre hit and despite barely missing out on an Oscar nomination for the career-best work in 2019’s Hustlers, other projects (even 2018’s Second Act, which is quite good) haven’t caught major fire. That tide could change with the release of Marry Me, the kind of return to form rom-com fueled by gargantuan charisma and star power that’s been missing in movies for eons. Lopez and co-star Owen Wilson (The Internship) are a refreshing, funny movie couple with effortlessly delightful chemistry. With its Notting Hill-ish flourishes (more on that later), Lopez easily moves from the A list to the A+ list, giving a performance that I was not expecting to be as deep as it turned out to be. 

Loosely based on a 2007 graphic novel (!) by Bobby Crosby, Marry Me finds beautiful superstar singer Kat Valdez (Lopez, The Boy Next Door) swept up in the whirlwind of preparations to wed hot heartthrob Bastian (Maluma, Encanto) during a joint concert in front of a worldwide audience and sing their rising pop single, “Marry Me.” Already married and divorced several times, the subject of much public scrutiny, Valdez is convinced (or has she just worked hard to convince herself?) Bastian is the one for her and puts aside her reservations about getting hitched in such a public forum. In the audience are a mild-mannered math teacher and divorced dad, Charlie Gilbert (Wilson), along with his daughter (Chloe Coleman, My Spy) and his colleague Parker (Sarah Silverman, A Million Ways to Die in the West). 

When Kat finds out from her manager (John Bradley, Moonfall) right as the vows are to take place that Bastian has betrayed her, she notices the unassuming man in the audience holding a sign emblazoned with the name of the song she’s about to sing. A split-second decision leads to a moment of clarity for the star and a life-changing agreement for the schoolteacher who still owns a flip phone. Married in front of a shocked crowd, Kat and Charlie must get to know one another, and both realize something they never thought possible; there’s a lot left to life and love they can learn from the other. All they have to do is get over their hang-ups. Easier said than done for a pop star with everything and an educator content with the simple life.

It’s impossible not to watch the movie and see the striking parallels to 1999’s Notting Hill, which is, to me, a perfect film. Even in the way the action develops, the narrative beats have a similar feel. While I wouldn’t say Marry Me is overtly copying that earlier film’s success story, it does use that as a blueprint to make the unlikely (and, let’s face it, unbelievable) fairy tale seem that much more plausible. Director Kat Corio and screenwriters Harper Dill, John Rogers, and Tami Sagher pepper the film with enough roadblocks and, strangely, supporting characters working against the best interest of their friends to believably keep the stars ever so slightly in a romantic danger zone. The inevitable third act “break-up,” comes from an internal place, not an external force, something I appreciated seeing because it was in keeping with the movie’s focus on the couple. It sets the stage for a comic cross-country down-to-the-buzzer race to express their feelings. 

Filmed in 2019 when Lopez was 50, it’s a grand showcase (but not a “showy” one) for the actress, with full-out singing and dancing to go along with the sharp comic timing she hasn’t fully embraced since her early Wedding Planner days. Also…I’m convinced Marry Me is being released simultaneously on Peacock TV as well as theaters for people who will certainly do what I did and pause it to scream each time Lopez reveals a new outfit. By the time we got to the red sequin number, I was entirely unconscious under the coffee table. Timed right for a Valentine’s Day release, say yes to Marry Me this weekend or any time of year. It’s undoubtedly going to be a new favorite of mine.

Movie Review ~ Dear Evan Hansen

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The Facts:

Synopsis: Evan Hansen, a high schooler with social anxiety, unintentionally gets caught up in a lie after the family of a classmate who committed suicide mistakes one of Hansen’s letters for their son’s suicide note.

Stars: Ben Platt, Amy Adams, Kaitlyn Dever, Julianne Moore, Amandla Stenberg, Nik Dodani, Colton Ryan, Danny Pino

Director: Stephen Chbosky

Rated: PG-13

Running Length: 137 minutes

TMMM Score: (5/10)

Review:  I suppose there was a certain inevitability to the failure of Dear Evan Hansen’s screen adaptation the moment Ben Platt was cast to reprise his Tony Award winning stage performance.  Platt’s work in the Broadway version (a piece he’d been with since its inception all the way back to 2014) was heralded to high heaven and there was even a glossy New York Times piece in 2017 that walked us through his daily rituals, showing us just how emotionally taxing it was to play Evan Hansen eight times a week.  This was a performer that put his all into the role, physically and emotionally.  He won all the accolades for it and has gone on to become a popular presence among fans in his age group.

So, when the time came to make the movie of Dear Evan Hansen, unlike other film adaptations where the award-winning star of the Broadway show was overlooked, the producers chose instead to go back to Platt who was more than happy to resurrect his Evan Hansen that he had since given over to a series of respectable replacements.  Now, I’m not saying with Platt’s dad (uber-producer Marc Platt) ranking high in the film’s producer list that the younger Platt had an advantage but…let’s not fool ourselves.  Platt himself has even acknowledged the film likely wouldn’t have been made without his involvement (really?) so how about we just go with Platt being the only person in consideration for the role. 

I’m not going to get into a debate about the age thing that has haunted so many a chat board ever since the first trailer was released.  There are enough hysterical memes and terrific GIFs that have been made of an aged Platt standing amongst the younger classmates but in reality, once you see the film you realize that it’s not the age difference that makes a difference.  Despite a truly tragic hair style which calls into question the creative decisions of the hair and make-up designers more than anything, Platt actually doesn’t look all that older than Kaitlyn Dever (Booksmart), Nik Dodani (Escape Room), Amandla Stenberg (The Hunger Games), and Colton Ryan (Uncle Frank), who are all supposed to be his classmates.  He may look a tad ganglier than the rest but certainly not the creepy adult-looking man-child early hot takes would have had you think.

The real trouble for Platt and the film version of Dear Evan Hansen is Platt’s inability to stop performing and start acting, really acting.  The actor is so tied into his stage performance and what made that work that he forgets that he’s working for the camera on a small scale and needs to dial everything back about twenty clicks.  What might have worked onstage simply doesn’t work for film and even after making a number of movies and TV series, it’s surprising Platt regresses so dramatically here.  That he’s cast alongside experienced pros only calls this out on a grander scale. 

Evan Hansen (Platt, Broken Diamonds), laced with anxiety and pent-up emotion, has been given a task by his therapist.  He’s been asked to write letters to himself as a way of encouragement to fend off the negative thoughts and feelings he has about starting another school year with no friends except for “family friend” Jared (Dodani).  Pining for Zoe Murphy (Dever) from afar, he can barely work up the courage to speak with her and after a particularly rough day he writes a letter to himself in the school library that is read by Zoe’s brother Connor (Ryan) who thinks Evan has written it to make fun of him.  Terrified Connor will use the letter against him, Evan spends the next several days in fear of retaliation until he’s called into the principal’s office to meet with Connor’s parents.  That’s where he learns Connor had taken his own life and Evan’s letter has been (incorrectly) assumed to be his suicide note.  His parents want to know if, as his only friend, Evan had any insight to offer about Connor.

Right here is where the story of Dear Evan Hansen takes a turn that loses a number of viewers because of its horrible deception, me included.  Instead of correcting them, Evan goes along with that wrong assumption that Connor and he were friends and becomes a false sense of comfort to the Murphy’s…mostly to get closer to Zoe.  He says the right things to make Cynthia (Amy Adams, The Woman in the Window) feel as if she didn’t let her son down quite so much and tells stepfather Larry (Danny Pino) how Connor appreciated their time together.  He goes one lie bigger with Zoe, creating fictious conversations between him and Connor about her that suggests whatever fracture was present in their relationship was something he wanted to fix.  Basically, he tells them what they want to hear so they feel better, and they keep him around.  It’s an advantageous situation for everyone…but it’s a lie.  As the lie gets bigger and goes inexplicably global and with the more people get involved with memorializing Connor (Stenberg’s role as a fellow student, while the best acted and sung out of all bar-none, feels as tacked on here as it does in the show), the harder it is for Evan to keep reality and fiction separate.

Interspersed throughout is the Tony Award winning score from Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, tunes that are hummable but not as memorable as the ones they created for The Greatest Showman (sorry, not sorry).    A new song they wrote with Stenberg for her character goes over nicely but they’ve also cut several songs and that’s an unfortunate loss because it leaves the film feeling only half like the musical it very much is.  You almost wonder if the movie would have been more successful without music all together because the entire story seems like a film we’d see released in the fall as an awards hopeful.  Something about it all doesn’t gel and you can’t blame it all on Platt or even the ho-hum direction by Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower).

When a film is just getting by on fumes to begin with, you hope that the performances will save it.  We’ve already discussed Platt’s inability to get out of his own way, resulting in some seriously unimpressive (and often embarrassing) scenes of him over singing that you think he’s going to hurl from the force of it all.  Compare that to the work that Adams, Dever, and Pino do in the haunting “Requiem” sequence – which is just as emotional as Platt’s most harrowing songs but is restrained enough to convey just the right tone without going overboard.  Adams has had a rough go these past few years and I was sad to see one of her songs cut, but it’s a duet with Evan’s mom played by Julianne Moore (The Glorias) who, from what I gather, is a bit of a non-singer.  While Moore does have a grand 11 o’clock number that she sells up and down, left and right…I wish for Adams’s sake they could have kept the earlier song to give Adams vocally more to do.

Problematic with or without its hokey star, Dear Evan Hansen always faced an uphill battle on its way to the big screen and it’s unfortunate it was dealt so many tough blows on its way to release.  The early buzz based on images alone was negative, the first reviews from screenings wasn’t promising, and even the reaction by Platt and his team was disappointing in its “So what”-ness.  And you know what, the film isn’t even all that bad.  You can see a decently made film in there somewhere but without a central figure to truly root for and then sans an actor in that role you believe in, where’s the fun in going to the theater and finding a reason to applaud?

Movie Review ~ Nobody 

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The Facts:

Synopsis: Hutch Mansell, a suburban dad, overlooked husband, nothing neighbor — a “nobody.” When two thieves break into his home one night, Hutch’s unknown long-simmering rage is ignited and propels him on a brutal path that will uncover dark secrets he fought to leave behind.

Stars: Bob Odenkirk, Connie Nielsen, Aleksey Serebryakov, Christopher Lloyd, RZA, Michael Ironside, Colin Salmon, RZA, Billy MacLellan, Araya Mengesha, Gage Munroe

Director: Ilya Naishuller

Rated: R

Running Length: 92 minutes

TMMM Score: (6.5/10)

Review: It’s coming.  The time for theaters to re-open and welcome movie-goers back in larger numbers is getting close and even now you can see there are more films premiering only in cinemas and not available via streaming or On Demand.  On the one hand, I get it.  Studios want to stay in the good graces of theater chains while also preserving the overall experience for their audiences.  On the other, even though the country continues to be vaccinated at a good rate there is still a long way to go before people (including myself) would feel comfortable sitting for an extended period in an enclosed space with others we aren’t acquainted with.  Until then, I’ll feel lucky that I can see a theatrical-only release like Nobody (from Universal Pictures) in the comfort of my own home so I’m able to let you know if it’s worth the risk to venture out to your local multiplex.

Though I’m still always going to advocate that you avoid unnecessary social interaction outside of your own home and hold out until a movie you want to see is available to rent or buy via streaming, I suppose if you were looking for a comfort-food casserole sort of action movie to sate your thirst for mindless fun, Nobody would be a full flavor meal to dine out on.  It has a bruised-knee charm that makes it a decent watch and a leading performance from an unexpected star which keeps it always surprising and surpassing your expectations.  It’s pulpy and loud but isn’t insignificant in the way it wins you over on sheer chutzpah.  Plain and simple — it’s worth putting some real pants on for.

The most notable thing about middle-aged Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk, Nebraska) is that he keeps to his routine. His suburban life with his pretty wife (Connie Nielsen, Wonder Woman 1984, Sea Fever) and two children isn’t boring, it’s just standard.  He’s not complaining he’s just…settled.  Working a number pushing job at a factory seems to get him through the day and although he aspires to one day own the factory, his mild-mannered attitude might be drowned out by a more emphatic employee who the boss (Michael Ironside, Scanners) takes more notice of.  It’s a beige life for a beige guy.  At least that’s what it looks like on the surface.  A late-night home break-in is the catalyst that begins to pull back the curtain on Hutch’s life before the wife, kids, and 9-5 job entered the picture.  It awakens a side of him that few have seen…and lived to talk about.

Over the next several days, Hutch will run afoul of a karaoke-singing Russian crime boss (Aleksey Serebryakov, in a performance of golden gusto) who quickly sets his sights on eliminating this unexpected thorn in his side.  They’ll also be car chases, knockdown brawls leading to broken bones and worse, and a booby-trapped finale that will remind you of a certain Christmas classic.  It’s all eager to please and screenwriter Derek Kolstad (The Falcon and the Winter Soldier) doesn’t miss an opportunity to find a clever way to clean house.  It’s also up to director Ilya Naishuller to not let us get too far ahead in Kolstad’s script – though Hutch’s shadowy past might seem obvious at first, the full truth is more fun.

Even though it’s ultimately just a less flashy version of the John Wick films (no shocker, Kolstad wrote all three) set to a soundtrack filled with so many on the nose up-tempo tunes I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a wedding DJ watching that uses it exclusively at their next gig, Nobody whizzes through 92 minutes without pausing much to let us catch our breath or think through how silly it all is.  A lot of that has to do with Naishuller’s breakneck pace and caffeine-hyped editing but don’t forget to give Odenkirk much of the credit for making Hutch such a standout character.  Sure, he’s playing a seemingly dull guy that’s just harboring a lot of well-kept talents, but there’s more to him than his bag of tricks.  I’ve yet to truly take much notice of the actor until now but he’s an astonishingly credible action star, an everyman that takes a licking and keeps on ticking, absorbing the blows but finding creative ways to dole out punishment as revenge.  It’s all Odenkirk’s film so even strong supporting work from Nielsen (sadly underused considering the butt kicking we’ve seen her do recently in Zack Snyder’s Justice League and more) and a neat appearance from Back to the Future‘s Christopher Lloyd as Hutch’s irascible father.

With its short length, Nobody would be a good option if you are thinking of dipping your toe back into the theater-going experience because it’s a breeze to sit through.  If anything, make time for it when you do see it pop into your at home options in several weeks because this side of Odenkirk was exciting to see.  With his popularity at a peak nowadays with TV’s Better Call Saul continuing to earn him strong notices, Nobody is something to behold indeed.