Movie Review ~ The Marvels

The Facts:

Synopsis: Carol Danvers gets her powers entangled with those of Kamala Khan and Monica Rambeau, forcing them to work together to save the universe.
Stars: Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, Iman Vellani, Zawe Ashton, Gary Lewis, Seo-Jun Park, Zenobia Shroff, Mohan Kapur, Saagar Shaikh, Samuel L. Jackson
Director: Nia DaCosta
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 105 minutes
TMMM Score: (4/10)
Review: This is it. We all knew it was coming, and it’s unfortunate that it had to be The Marvels, but the time has come when Marvel Studios has tipped the scales too far out of whack. The level of content being thrown at audiences has maxed out. With multiple movies and television series released too close together, requiring viewers to cross-watch to make sense of the next installment, it’s almost becoming a part-time job keeping up with the various threads the studio has dangling. The worst thing? Even putting all that work into it isn’t yielding positive results from a studio that also seems exceptionally fatigued.

I recently expressed my thoughts that it’s time for Marvel to stop, take a breather, and let its actors do other work that gives them artistic freedom and fills their cups, giving us a chance to miss these characters and worlds and, most importantly, allow us all time to catch up on what is already out there. There is life outside of Marvel, and we don’t drop everything to watch the newest season of Loki the moment it comes out. I’m so far behind the television shows that I hadn’t even seen Ms. Marvel when the screening for the newest feature film arrived. While it didn’t exclusively preclude me from following the action, I wasn’t able to walk into The Marvels and pick up where the filmmakers wanted me to. (There are characters from other Disney+ series that show up that viewers won’t recognize if they haven’t watched.)

Though Brie Larson was introduced in 2019’s successful Captain Marvel, her character Carol Danvers has primarily been relegated to a utility player in Avengers offshoots in the years following. Part of that has to do with Larson resisting her iconography in the role, and part of it has been the studio attempting to figure out how to continue the story and chock as much IP of their other heroes in as well. Once Iman Vellani was introduced as Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel in the Disney+ series of the same name and Teyonah Parris proved to be an imposing breakthrough star in WandaVision as Monica Rambeau (the daughter of Carole Danvers best friend), it made gathering the trio for this joint effort a bit easier. Director Nia DaCosta (Candyman) was onboard for a largely female-centered film, the first of its kind in Marvel’s history on the big screen. 

A troubled production history has followed The Marvels since the beginning, with the release date being shifted and news of an early test screening not giving producers much confidence in how well the film would perform. Massive reshoots have been all but confirmed, and with a run time of 105 minutes, by far the shortest Marvel film in ages, one has to assume DaCosta’s film looks a lot different than it did a year ago when it was mostly complete. What’s being released is so far afield of what fans have seen before that it’s almost admirable the studio chose to stick with a theatrical platform and not send this to Disney+, where it likely belongs.

The Marvels wastes no time introducing us to a new villain, Kree leader Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton, Greta), who finds a Quantum Band on a dead planet. With the ability to harness exceptional power, the Quantum band gives Dar-Benn free rein to jump through space, finding worlds rich in the natural resources her dying ecosystem desperately needs. Dar-Benn’s activation of the Quantum Band sets several other pieces into motion, warping the powers of the Earth-based Kamala Khan (Vellani), astronaut Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris, Chi-Raq), and Carol Danvers (Larson, Fast X), who has been on a personal mission to right a wrong that will have its full circle comeuppance shortly.

As the three women understand how their powers have been united, allowing them to switch places anytime their might is unleashed, they will eventually see how this triumvirate is the only one that stands a chance to defeat Dar-Benn.  Kamala possesses the other Quantum Band needed to give Dar-Benn full strength to create massive damage, a wrinkle that the screenplay only hastily tries to smooth out. Aided (somewhat) by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson, Django Unchained), who operates out of a space station eventually overrun by kittens with special powers, the trio travel across space tracking their enemy, hoping to stop her before she manages to destroy more than just her intended target.

This film should have come out years ago before the original Avengers team had run its course and completed their initial record-breaking run. If it had, more time would have been spent on shoring up an unruly script filled with so many plot holes and gaffes that you could drive a space shuttle through it. In The Marvels, a character wields a weapon of great power that is often knocked out of their hands, yet with three people fighting that character, does anyone think to pick it up while the other two are holding the owner back? No one fights with any drive or determination; it’s all a slap-happy goof-fest that creates no real stakes. While the special effects aren’t as shoddy as Thor: Love and Thunder, the make-up work is mega-iffy. Several of the prosthetics on actors actually bounce around while they walk and look like the rubber masks they are.

With Candyman, DaCosta demonstrated her confidence as a fearless female filmmaker, and you know that Larson and Parris are no slouches in this department either. I’m all for grrrl power and whatnot, but I was perplexed why the three women were often dressed in clothes more appropriate for a sleepover than universe-saving. I swear, at one point, Larson is wearing a baggy crop top, basketball shorts, and tube socks, while Vellani is lounging with wet hair in an oversized T-shirt and sweatpants, munching on popcorn. Let’s not talk too long about some of the costumes when they are in superhero mode. Parris is dealt an unflattering blow with hers, but the worst offense is during the post-credit sequence when a new character is revealed wearing a costume so ugly/bulky you might think it’s a cardboard cutout they are standing behind.

It’s not a shock to hear rumblings that Larson wants out of playing Captain Marvel in the future; her heart doesn’t seem to be in it, and she often appears like she’s dreaming about being in another movie. Not having seen Ms. Marvel, I tried not to listen to the critics that dinged Vellani’s over earnestness, but she’s an increasingly grating presence in the film, especially when she begins to take center stage over Larson and the infinitely more interesting Parris. You start to wish this was a standalone movie for Parris anytime she gets a moment to shine – here’s hoping someone at Marvel gets wise. Ashton is a regrettably toothless villain, ironically saddled with silver-ringed teeth and a choppy backstory that suggests she’s playing a character far older than she looks. Only Zenobia Shroff (Soul), as Kamala Khan’s overprotective mother, is given any time to shine amongst the poorly written (and broadly performed) supporting characters.

I almost can’t imagine being in a theater with a packed audience when The Marvels delves into its two most bizarre sequences. One of these concerns the women visiting a planet that communicates only in song. Yes, in song. If you ever wanted to know what Larson sounds like singing her lines of exposition, I hope you have a ticket for the Friday night showing lined up. The second passage, sure to leave viewers scratching their heads, is a bizarre montage set to Barbra Streisand’s version of Memory and involves cats (naturally), tentacles, and regurgitation.

I wish that this reckoning for Marvel had come with an equal opportunity chance to disappoint, like on a Guardians of the Galaxy fart of fancy (we all know Vol. 3 was terrible, right?). Still, The Marvels is destined to shoulder the burden of failure. However, this is the movie the studio chose to send into the world, so judge it we must. Despite a humdinger of a post-credit sequence (it’s a jaw-dropper, to be sure), The Marvels is too campy to be cool, too goofy to be taken seriously, and too hastily glued together to be considered alongside the type of blockbuster output fans are expecting. Come to think of it; the output has been going south so much lately that The Marvels may not be that much of a letdown at all.

Movie Review ~ Fast X

The Facts:

Synopsis: Dom Toretto and his family are targeted by the vengeful son of drug kingpin Hernan Reyes.
Stars: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jason Momoa, Nathalie Emmanuel, Jordana Brewster, John Cena, Jason Statham, Sung Kang, Alan Ritchson, Daniela Melchoir, Scott Eastwood, Helen Mirren, Charlize Theron, Brie Larson, Rita Moreno
Director: Louis Leterrier
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 141 minutes
TMMM Score: (8/10)
Review:  After a four-year gap between the eighth and ninth entries (partly because of the pandemic), it’s great to be back behind the cinematic wheel of the Fast and Furious family saga for their tenth time around the track, barely twenty-fourth months after the last breathless conclusion. Plenty has happened during that time, with Fast X’s initial director (and long-time franchise helmer/writer) Justin Lin exiting due to conflict with star Vin Diesel and announcing that the series was headed for its final laps. Set to conclude with a 12th film that gives audiences plenty of time to gear up their goodbyes and the filmmakers to go out with a sonic boom…it all starts with the uproariously entertaining Fast X.

This series has always rewarded fans deeply entrenched in the films, so the more you know about the previous installments, the better. That’s particularly beneficial for Fast X, which begins with the heist finale of 2010’s Fast Five that ended the life of drug lord Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). A little ret-con work has been done to insert new shots of Hernan’s son, Dante (Jason Momoa, Aquaman), who witnesses his father’s death and vows pain and suffering on all involved.

A decade later, Dom (Diesel, Riddick) and his wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez, She Dies Tomorrow) are again adjusting to a quieter life living under the radar and staying out of trouble. Raising Dom’s son (Leo Abelo Perry) in the stable family environment Dom and his siblings Mia (Jordana Brewster, Furious 7) and Jakob (John Cena, Vacation Friends) didn’t have is the priority. However, it becomes tricky to do so when the past doesn’t leave them alone. An unexpected visit from nemesis Cipher (Charlize Theron, Bombshell), who turns up on Dom and Letty’s doorstep bruised and bloodied, warns of the danger heading their way.

That deadly threat is Dante Reyes, seeking costly revenge on Dom and others that played a part in his father’s death. A flashy big baddie with a bark as bad as his bite, Dante plays a ruthless game with Dom and his gang introduced with a mission in Rome that goes awry for Roman (Tyrese Gibson, Fast & Furious 6), Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, End of the Road), Han (Sung Kang, Raya and the Last Dragon), and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel, Army of Thieves) and culminates with a high-speed chase through Portugal’s highways, tunnels, and over a dam. In between, we visit Rio de Janeiro and Antarctica and get a few excellent surprise appearances along the way I wouldn’t dare spoil for you. 

While it sets the stage for Fast 11 in 2025 (which will probably feel like a bridge to Fast 12 shortly after), there’s an undeniable surge of power in Fast X that hasn’t been felt in a few chapters of this saga. Maybe it’s new director Louis Leterrier (Now You See Me) bringing his typically breathless directing pace out in full force, or it could be that the cast is just primed and ready to party, but Fast X is in a constant state of motion that never lets up.

Let’s talk about that cast, shall we? While Diesel is an immovable object at this point (the voice is so low I had to take a lozenge halfway through in solidarity) who never, not once, gets his white shirt dirty, he surrounds himself with a splendid supporting troupe that continues to hone their characters to a fine polish. Rodriguez is the consistent MVP of the group, bringing more pathos to a once-throwaway role than it initially deserved. I still am crossing my fingers for some one-off installment for Gibson, Bridges, and Emmanuel – all three have demonstrated they are a terrific trio that could hold their own like Jason Statham (Spy) and Dwayne Johnson (Jungle Cruise) did in Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. A brief cameo from Helen Mirren (Hitchcock) as Statham’s mum is about on par with the early appearance of Rita Moreno (West Side Story) as Dom’s grandmother, who pops in to talk about, what else? family.

Newcomer Alan Ritchson (Ghosts of War) as a gruff agent now in charge of calling the shots, taking over for Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and Little Nobody (Scott Eastwood, The Longest Ride), has the appropriate muscle-bulk to play Gun Show Grunt with the gang but can be a bit one note. Daniela Melchoir (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3), as a new racer that crosses paths with Dom and Dante, feels a bit shoehorned in, but not as much as Oscar-winner Brie Larson (Captain Marvel) does in a head-scratcher of a role. Playing another government agent that feels like she’s there only to solve some script problems, Larson also doesn’t seem to understand what she’s there to do either. It’s a strange appearance.

Strange doesn’t even begin to describe what Momoa is doing…but it works much better for his job. Momoa is by far the best villain yet in these films and almost instantly becomes a character you’re desperate to see more of, even if you know his presence means terrible news for our good guys. Choices that wouldn’t work on any other actor work brilliantly in Momoa’s large, capable hands, and there’s not one frame of the film where he isn’t in complete command of the proceedings. It’s such a scene-stealing role that I’m shocked Diesel let him get away with it, knowing how Diesel likes to be the center of attention. The one-liners and line readings are perfectly molded to the character, and if the role weren’t written with Momoa in mind, I’d love to know who else was considered for the part.

True, Fast X doesn’t have as high an incredulity factor as previous installments (spoiler alert: no one goes into orbit), but that doesn’t mean the stunts performed are any less jaw-dropping. Our audience still whooped and clapped throughout and appropriately went nuts for a finale (and post-credit sequence) that will send you out of the theater buzzing on a “did they just do that to us?” high. Buckle up for this one because it is an adrenaline-fueled ride that doesn’t bother ever to hit the brakes on its audience. 

Movie Review ~ Just Mercy


The Facts
:

Synopsis: After graduating from Harvard, Bryan Stevenson heads to Alabama to defend those wrongly condemned or those not afforded proper representation. One of his first cases is that of Walter McMillian, who is sentenced to die in 1987 for the murder of an 18-year-old girl, despite evidence proving his innocence.

Stars: Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Foxx, Brie Larson, Rob Morgan, Tim Blake Nelson, Rafe Spall, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Karan Kendrick

Director: Destin Daniel Cretton

Rated: PG-13

Running Length: 137 minutes

TMMM Score: (8/10)

Review:  There’s always a dilemma in missing an early screening of a movie and waiting to see it after it is released to general audiences.  I had the opportunity to see Just Mercy back in October at the Twin Cities Film Festival and again in late December for a press screening but wasn’t able to attend either showing due to other commitments. This was a disappointment because I had been looking forward to this high-profile studio film starring rising A-Lister Michael B. Jordan and Academy Award winners Jamie Foxx and Brie Larson in a true-life legal drama.  With buzz out of initial festival screenings that it could be a crowd-pleasing awards favorite, I wanted to be able to see it early, yes, but also with a packed house to get their reaction as well.

So, I couldn’t have that group experience, though I don’t think Just Mercy is meant to be one of those roof-raising stand up and applaud your noble defense attorney movies in the first place. Though it could be unfairly compared to a TV movie of the week because of its familiar story line of ambitious attorney battles Goliath bigoted legal system, it’s the small gentle touches that make it special.  You get a sense it’s wrong emerging from Destin Daniel Cretton’s fourth feature feeling entertained because there is nothing fun about its racially charged subject or the picture it paints about the conviction rates of the past, present and future.  It’s a somber and sobering look at the life of one man at the beginning of his journey in the fight for social justice and the individuals that had an impact on setting him on his path.

Harvard graduate Bryan Stevenson (Jordan, Creed) turns down offers from bigger (i.e. better paying) firms in better ports of call in favor of moving to Alabama to defend inmates wrongly convicted of crimes.  Inspired by an early meeting with a death row inmate he formed a connection with while he was still a law student, he starts the Equal Justice Initiative with Eva Ansley (Larson, Captain Marvel).  Seeking to provide a pro-bono defense for death row inmates who may not have received a fair trial due to their social class or ethnic background, Stevenson and Ansley come up against communities that sees them as nothing more than trying to free murders and rapists.  They face opposition from the start.  No one will rent them space for their office, Ansley receives bomb threats at her house, Stevenson is targeted by the local police and, in so many words, told to keep out of their business.

Marketing for Just Mercy would suggest that all of Stevenson’s time is devoted to working on overturning the conviction of Walter McMillian (Foxx, Django Unchained) who was accused of killing a teenage girl and given the death penalty despite a mountain of evidence proving he was innocent but that is a bit deceiving.  While it’s true that the bulk of the film revolves around the relationship that forms between the two men, there’s a significant amount of time spent with inmate Herbert Richardson (Rob Morgan, The Last Black Man in San Francisco) a veteran with PTSD on death row that also comes under Stevenson’s banner.  Both men have an impact on the lawyer Stevenson becomes and especially the time he spends with Richardson informs how Stevenson approaches the numerous setbacks he faces in the McMillian trial.  As Stevenson digs deeper in the McMIllian case, it opens the old wounds of a community that used the McMillian conviction as a Band-Aid to heal after the violent murder and aren’t willing to look at any evidence suggesting McMillian was innocent.

As this is based on a true story, the outcome of everything is right there for you to see if you choose to spoil things for yourself before going in, but I’d advise staving off that knowledge if possible.  I went in knowing nothing and it added to the tension of not being able to predict what would happen next and if justice would be served after being denied for so long.  The answers aren’t always what we want or how we expect to receive them but overall there’s a strength in Cretton’s script, though at 137 minutes the film is slightly circuitous in its path to get there.  What I can say is that the events in the film had a lasting impact on the lives of everyone involved and the work continues to this day — be sure to stay until the credits are fully rolling to be brought up to date with where things are presently.

Continuing to show he’s going to be one of the next generation of Movie Stars (the capital and M and S are purposeful), Jordan can come across as overly earnest as Stevenson but it’s exactly the right approach for the recent grad having his eyes opened to the certain realities.  He’s not naïve enough to think justice is always blind or that everyone is treated the same but watching his spirit get a bit broken during a cruel strip search his first-time visiting McMillian in jail is hard to watch.  With McMillian, Foxx has his best role in years and should have had an Oscar nomination to show for it.  The resolution to his situation and a body bereft of hope is evident when Stevenson first meets him, and Foxx creates a nice kind of magic letting the hope seep back into his person when the tides seem to turn in his direction.  Both men have an electric chemistry with Foxx the actor taking a fatherly role over Jordan — I can’t say for sure but it feels like the two got along like gangbusters and it shows onscreen.  Though their characters struggled to trust at first, the beauty found behind the walls eventually broken down is extraordinary.

Having worked with Cretton several times now, I’m surprised Larson didn’t have more to do.  She’s determined and confident as Ansley but goes missing for long stretches only to appear again to give Stevenson a pep talk or be a sounding board – so it winds up feeling like a utilitarian role rather than a pivotal one.  In some ways, I thought Morgan’s troubled death row veteran outshone Foxx.  He’s honestly the heart of the film and he’s got a whopper of a showcase that will easily get him work for the next several years.  Every film needs a villain or villain-adjacent and while it’s hard to cast the legal system into one person, Rafe Spall (Prometheus) as the stubborn District Attorney refusing to see the evidence presented to him fits the bill just fine.  Some may find Tim Blake Nelson (Angel Has Fallen) as a key witness to be slightly on the broad side but considering that Nelson had to add a speech disability that distorts his face, I found it to be an effective performance.   I also couldn’t write this review and not mention the enormous contribution of Karan Kendrick (The Odd Life of Timothy Green) and her solid turn as McMillian’s devoted wife who rallies her community behind Stevenson and her spouse.  There’s more to the role than simple love and support and Kendrick makes the most of her few scenes.

Plenty of movies have been made about the failure of our justice system to serve the men and women that can’t afford the kind of defense that would prove their innocence and plenty more will be made in the future.  Each has it’s own story of lines being crossed and motivations that are less than noble winning out over the quest for the truth.  All are worthy stories to tell because maybe it will prevent one more person from being wrongfully convicted of a crime.  Just Mercy may not have set out to change the way lawyers work with their clients, prosecutors pursue a conviction, juries weigh the facts, or judges deliver sentencing but it does highlight there is still work to be done to get it right.

Movie Review ~ Captain Marvel

 


The Facts
:

Synopsis: Carol Danvers becomes one of the universe’s most powerful heroes when Earth is caught in the middle of a galactic war between two alien races.

Stars: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Jude Law, Lashana Lynch, Annette Bening, Gemma Chan, Djimon Hounsou, Lee Pace, Clark Gregg

Directors: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck

Rated: PG-13

Running Length: 124 minutes

TMMM Score: (6.5/10)

Review: This should be a time of full-scale rejoicing. I mean, it only took 11 years and 21 films but Marvel Studios finally is releasing a superhero movie with a female lead. Though it may be trailing Warner Brothers’s epic Wonder Woman by a full two years, Captain Marvel is surely a welcome addition to the Marvel stable of action heroes and the studio seemed to be thoughtful in bringing the character to the big screen. Casting an Oscar winning actress as the titular character and signing on a directing team known for their independent dramas seemed like unexpected choices for an action movie of this size and unfortunately the payoff isn’t entirely worth the risk.

We’re so deep into this saga that it’s almost become a requirement for audiences to have seen, or have qualified knowledge, of previous films in order to make sense out of the action and developments that take place throughout whatever hero’s adventure we’re watching. That’s even true in this first appearance of Captain Marvel, which is set in 1995, long before the events of the movies that preceded it. Make sure to bone up on your Avengers knowledge (namely watch The Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy) because it will go a long way in getting you up to speed.

Starforce warrior Vers (Brie Larson, The Gambler) is on a mission with her team on a desolate planet when she is captured by a band of Skrulls led by Talos (Ben Mendelsohn, Darkest Hour) and taken back to their ship. Staging a daring escape, she crash lands on Earth where she meets a young Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson, Glass, de-aged quite nicely) and teams up with him to locate a power source integral to her own origin story…and future Avenger movies. Along the way Vers learns why she’s plagued with nightmares of a fallen comrade (Annette Bening, Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool) and memories of a life before her time with Starforce. The secrets she discovers help shape the hero she’ll become and reframe what she’s actually defending.

I’ll be honest and say that I couldn’t resist closing my eyes for a small section of the movie around the forty-five minute mark.   Directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck can’t quite keep up a solid pace and the film drags early on, even when we should be actively engaged with Vers uncovering more of her history. Things start to pick up once we meet her old Air Force buddy (Lashana Lynch) who fills in some memory gaps and helps to propel us forward into the final act. It’s when her old Starforce buddies, led by Jude Law (Side Effects), Djimon Hounsou (Serenity), and Gemma Chan (Crazy Rich Asians) show up that the film becomes unstoppable as Vers realizes the full force of her power (a moment that gave me goosebumps) and uses it against an enemy she never considered.

Working with a script from four credited screenwriters (Meg LeFauve, Nicole Perlman, Roy Thomas, Gene Colan), Captain Marvel is a bit of an odd duck because it’s an origin story for several key elements that make up the Avengers universe. There’s the obvious first steps for Vers discovering she’s really Carol Danvers, a pilot with the U.S. Air Force presumed dead after her plane went down years earlier. Then you have the beginnings of Nick Fury’s pet S.H.I.E.L.D. project as well as grudges introduced that get resolved in later installments. It’s a lot to juggle and it’s not a totally satisfying balance of storylines.

It doesn’t much help that Larson walks through the movie strangely blank-faced, rarely changing expression from one emotion to the next. She’s definitely putting the acting effort into the movie but one wishes she’d loosen up a bit and I also wonder if she’d ever seen an Avengers movie prior to signing on. Most of the films are sold with tongue planted firmly in cheek but Larson seems averse to going along with any kind of joke. She does create a pleasant chemistry with Jackson’s Fury…you can see why he’d call on her when the going gets tough in Avengers: Infinity War.  The supporting cast is what helps to keep the movie afloat, namely Mendelsohn and Lynch as two key elements to Danvers coming into her own and embracing her superpowers.

Starting off slow but gradually building to an exciting finale, right now I feel like Captain Marvel falls squarely in the middle of the Marvel canon. That being said, I’m willing to wait it out and see if time is kinder to the film over the next few years as the studio wraps up some loose ends and decides what’s next in their plans for the Avengers.

 

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Phase One
Iron Man (2008)
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Thor (2011)
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Marvel’s The Avengers (2012)

Phase Two
Iron Man 3 (2013)
Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Ant-Man (2015)

Phase Three
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Doctor Strange (2016)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Black Panther (2018)
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Ant-Man and The Wasp (2018)
Captain Marvel (2019)
Avengers; Endgame (2019)

Phase Four
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

 

The Silver Bullet ~ Kong: Skull Island

kong_skull_island_ver2

Synopsis: A diverse team of explorers is brought together to venture deep into an uncharted island in the Pacific—as beautiful as it is treacherous—unaware that they’re crossing into the domain of the mythic Kong.

Release Date: March 10, 2017

Thoughts: Since 1933, we’ve been kinda ape over King Kong. Though his franchise isn’t a huge one, each time he’s appeared on screen it’s been a cultural touchstone of the moviemaking era.  The original film became instantly iconic while the overstuffed 1976 remake boasted impressive effects and a newcomer by the name of Jessica Lange.  Peter Jackson’s thrill heavy 2005 reboot didn’t kick things off like it should have but it kept the larger than life monkey in relevant terms.  With the success of 2014’s Godzilla and expertly timed with Universal Studios in Orlando’s new King Kong ride, Kong: Skull Island feels like it’s arriving at the right time.  Starring Brie Larson (The Gambler), Samuel L. Jackson (The Hateful Eight), Tom Hiddleston (Thor: The Dark World), John Goodman (10 Cloverfield Lane), and John C. Reilly (Guardians of the Galaxy), the new’70s set Kong is clearly going for that old school home territory feeling without the bright lights of the big city to muck it all up.  This first full trailer is a tad jokey for my tastes but the kid in me is counting down the days until Kong is again unleashed.

Movie Review ~ Room

room_ver2

The Facts:

Synopsis: After 5-year old Jack and his Ma escape from the enclosed surroundings that Jack has known his entire life, the boy makes a thrilling discovery: the outside world.

Stars: Brie Larson, Jacob Tremblay, Joan Allen, William H. Macy

Director: Lenny Abrahamson

Rated: R

Running Length: 118 minutes

Trailer Review: Here

TMMM Score: (9/10)

Review: You know those times in movies when the tears come more from relief than sadness?  Room has one of those moments where the tears just sprang from my eyes without much warning.  Up until that moment we’ve been so invested in the two main characters that the threat against them and the possibility of denied salvation just gets to be too much.  I’m getting ahead of myself, though…and dangerously close to spoiler territory (not that the trailer didn’t give away several key developments already).

Adapted by Emma Donoghue from her 2010 bestseller, Room is narrated largely by young Jack (brilliant newcomer Jacob Tremblay) who has only known life with his Ma (Brie Larson, The Spectacular Now) inside what he calls ‘room’.  ‘Room’ is a securely locked tiny living quarters with a bed, a makeshift kitchen, a small bathtub, and a wardrobe where Jack sometimes sleeps when a man he calls Old Nick visits.  As audience members, we gradually learn that Old Nick took Jack’s Ma when she was a teenager and has been holding her captive for years.

Being stowed away for all that time, Ma has given up hope of ever being released and has created a world inside ‘room’ where she and Jack can make it through day in and day out.  Ma cares deeply for Jack and keeps the dark crime surrounding their imprisonment a secret from him…even though he’s a daily reminder of the violations inflicted on her.  When an opportunity arises for escape, the mother and son must overcome their own fears of the life outside to make the moves necessary to secure their freedom.

It’s no secret that Ma and Jack are liberated from their confines but the story is far from over as both have a major adjustment to make back in the real world outside of ‘room’.  Jack is experiencing a life of wide-open space and new knowledges denied him until that point.  Ma works through her painful realizations of the true effect the lost time has had on her emotionally as well as physically.  Living with her mother (a stoic, supportive Joan Allen, The Bourne Legacy) and stepfather, Jack and Ma take divergent paths toward redemption that brings them closer to each other as a unit and as individuals.

Larson’s portrayal of Ma is one of the best performances you’ll see all year, resisting the urge to elicit pity and opting instead for finding renewed strength as she goes along.  She takes you on a journey through the mind of someone that was caged and then set free…what that does to a psyche and how to move forward is a difficult internal thread to show externally but Larson somehow manages to do it.  Tremblay, too, is a marvelous presence of the film as a representation of pure innocence.  Tremblay and Larson form a symbiotic, cohesive partnership to such an extent that I’m not sure either performance could have existed without the other.

Director Lenny Abrahamson opts for a decidedly non-flashy execution, letting Donoghue’s script play out with honesty.  Room is in intense watch, there’s no getting around it.  When you step back and think of the kidnapping, repeated molestation, and confinement for all these years you wonder how anyone could have survived that alone.  Larson and Tremblay show you how they got through it together.

Hasta La Vista…Summer (July)

arnold-terminator-almostdidnotstarHasta

We did it! We made it through another summer and while the outdoor heat wasn’t too bad (in Minnesota, at least) the box office was on fire.

I’ll admit that I indulged in summer fun a bit more than I should, distracting me from reviewing some key movies over the last three months so I wanted to take this opportunity to relive the summer of 2015, mentioning my thoughts on the movies that got away and analyzing the winners and losers by month and overall.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride read.

JulyI just wasn’t prepared for July. It hit me like a ton of bricks, a wave of cinematic excursions that made my head spin. So many movies were released that it was hard to keep track from week to week what was arriving and what was still waiting for its release date. As you can see below, I had a lot of catching-up to do

The month began with the disappointment of Terminator Genisys. I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting from the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger but it for sure wasn’t the muddled misfire that was supposed to reboot this franchise. Badly cast with shoddy special effects, this was supposed to be the beginning of something but should likely be the end (though it did do well overseas so we may yet get another one of these in a few years).

A few summers back I lamented how bad the original Magic Mike was. Trading eye candy entertainment for any semblance of watchable narrative, it was another dud (for me) from Steven Soderbergh. So you’d understand why I wasn’t keen on Magic Mike XXL because I felt we’d already been there done that. Much to my delight, the sequel was much better than its predecessor, maintaining the fun frivolity of the world of male strippers while injecting some personality into the proceedings. Quite possible the biggest surprise of the summer for me.

I learned a lot from the wise documentary Amy, chronicling the rise and fall of Amy Winehouse, the singer with the bluesy voice and broken butterfly backstory. She had a lot to overcome and the film made a compelling argument that she would still be here today had she had a better support system.

Though I loved the Minions in the Despicable Me films, I didn’t care for their solo outing with its half-baked story and less that inspired vocal work. It felt like a quick cash-grab and it looks like it accomplished its goal. Hopefully next time they’ll come back with a better story and more convincing actors.

The found footage horror movie had its death knell with The Gallows, a brainless exercise in tedium peppered with cheap scares and lousy acting. Could have (and should have) been much better.

Now we approach a stretch where I checked out for a bit – but I’m atoning for it now with these mini-reviews.

                                                        Movie Review ~ Batkid Begins
batkid_begins_the_wish_heard_around_the_world_ver2The Facts
:
Synopsis: On one day, in one city, the world comes together to grant one 5-year-old cancer patient his wish. Batkid Begins looks at the ‘why’ of this flash phenomenon.
Stars: Miles Scott
Director: Dana Nachman
Rated: PG
Running Length: 87 minutes
TMMM Score: (7/10)
Review: Can I admit something to you and not have you hate me?  When I first saw the media frenzy around this back in 2013 I remember rolling my eyes are the saccharine nature of the whole endeavor.  Why would an entire city be brought to a screeching halt because of one kid’s wish to be Batman for a day?  Well, the documentary Batkid Begins showed me why and by the end I was feeling like a lout for my initial feelings and wiping away the happy tears the film easily brings forth from the viewer.  Following the planning and execution by the Make-A-Wish Foundation to give a 5 year old leukemia survivor the day of his dreams, viewers get a glimpse at what goes into even the smallest wish granted by the organization.  While it at times comes off like a big advertisement, it’s heart is most certainly in the right place and I found myself getting choked up with each good deed and promise fulfilled by a host of people involved in making the day come off without a hitch. An audience-pleasing winner.

                                                        Movie Review ~ The Overnight
overnight_ver2The Facts
:
Synopsis: A family “playdate” becomes increasingly interesting as the night goes on.
Stars: Adam Scott, Jason Schwartzman, Taylor Schilling, Judith Godrèche
Director: Patrick Brice
Rated: R
Running Length: 79 minutes
TMMM Score: (7/10)
Review: There and gone in an instant, The Overnight is a film better suited for home viewing anyway.  A couple (Adam Scott and Taylor Schilling) new to the area meet Jason Schwartzman at a local playground where both of their children are playing.  Their kids have hit it off so Schwartzmann invites the family over for more fun, but when the kids go to bed Schwartzman and his wife Judith Godrèche have more interesting games to play for the unsuspecting couple.  Saying more would spoil the fun but it’s an adults only evening with oodles of twists and turns as both couples bare their secrets (and their bodies) before the night is over.  Already famous for its full frontal shots of Schwartzman and Scott (sorry, both are wearing prosthetics), at 79 minutes the movie is short but does start to feel long in the middle section.  It helps immensely that all four actors are competent and comfortable with the material…the story doesn’t hold back and neither do they.

                                                              Movie Review ~ Ant-Man
ant_man_ver3The Facts
:
Synopsis: Armed with a super-suit with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, con-man Scott Lang must embrace his inner hero and help his mentor, Dr. Hank Pym, plan and pull off a heist that will save the world.
Stars: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Michael Pena, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, David Dastmalchian, T.I. , Judy Greer, Bobby Cannavale, Martin Donovan, Wood Harris, John Slattery, Gregg Turkington, Abby Ryder Fortson
Director: Peyton Reed
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 117 minutes
TMMM Score: (6/10)
Review: Early troubles with the start of production with Ant-Man and some seriously questionable teasers/trailers didn’t get me very excited for this mid-summer superhero movie.  I think Marvel was hoping that Ant-Man would score along the lines of last summer’s Guardians of the Galaxy but it’s sadly missing the humor that made Guardians so much fun.  It’s not a total wash though because for every 10 minutes of standard origin-story developments, there’s a solid 5 minutes of exciting action sequences to wake audiences up from their slumber.  I know that with an origin story you need to cover a lot of ground and Ant-Man, to its additional credit, doesn’t waste much time in getting to the goods…but it’s a cheap-o undertaking and one that feels like a second-string entry in Marvel’s blockbuster universe.  Paul Rudd makes for a surprisingly solid action lead as does Corey Stoll as Rudd’s nemesis, but Evangeline Lilly labors too much under her severe wig (that seems to change lengths multiple times, in the middle of scenes) and isn’t a good enough actress to carry some weighty responsibilities.  A decent entry as far as Marvel films go…but I’m not clamoring for a sequel any time soon.

                                                         Movie Review ~ Irrational Man
irrational_manThe Facts
:
Synopsis: A tormented philosophy professor finds a will to live when he commits an existential act.
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Emma Stone, Parker Posey, Jamie Blackley, Betsy Aidem, Ethan Phillips, Sophie von Haselberg
Director: Woody Allen
Rated: R
Running Length: 96 minutes
Trailer Review: Here
TMMM Score: (6/10)
Review: It happens every year and every year you never quite know what to expect.  I’m speaking, of course, of the annual Woody Allen release and like many of the directors works, it’s a hit or miss affair.  I’m constantly in awe that Allen has churned out a film a year (sometimes two a year) for the last three decades and even the really bad ones aren’t as terrible as the other dreck dumped on us during the summer.  Last year Magic in the Moonlight was dismissed as too slight even for Allen but I enjoyed its frothy charm…something that was missing from the more serious-minded Irrational Man.  As a boozy professor that gets into hot water in his New England college town, Joaquin Phoenix was perhaps the wrong choice because the actor plagues himself far too much for Allen’s light material. At least co-star Emma Stone helps keep Phoenix from the quicksand of his own creation but she can’t be in every scene and it’s when Phoenix is on his own that the film goes slack.  Then there’s Parker Posey who I’m becoming convinced is simply not of this earth and doesn’t try to hide it anymore.  Bizarre line readings and the tendency to let her mouth hang open are only the tip of Posey’s strange acting iceberg. Very much in line with the dark humor of Allen’s Crimes and Misdemeanors, Irrational Man should hold your interest for a time but it’s quickie ending feels like Allen was ready to move on to his next film rather than put a period at the end things.

                                                            Movie Review ~ Trainwreck
trainwreckThe Facts
:
Synopsis: Having thought that monogamy was never possible, a commitment-phobic career woman may have to face her fears when she meets a good guy.
Stars: Amy Schumer, Bill Hader, Brie Larson, Mike Birbiglia, Colin Quinn, Tilda Swinton, Ezra Miller, John Cena, Vanessa Bayer, Jon Glaser, LeBron James, Method Man
Director: Judd Apatow
Rated: R
Running Length: 125 minutes
Trailer Review: Here
TMMM Score: (6.5/10)
Review: One of the true success stories of the summer has to have been Amy Schumer, not so much for writing and starring in Trainwreck but the collective impact she’s had on the comedy scene.  Unapologetic in her crassness and wise in her observations, Schumer is a comic moving like a shooting star and it’s nice to report that I think she’s a pretty decent actress as well. As much as I enjoy Schumer I was nervous that she was attaching herself to director Judd Apatow because Apatow, as we all know, has a way of turning in muddled work.  Unfortunately, Apatow’s influence led the film to be about 20 minutes longer than it needed to be and ultimately overstaying its welcome.  I don’t care what anyone says about the appearance of LeBron James as a bona fide supporting player, his entire storyline should have been excised and the film wouldn’t have suffered at all.  The problems get worse because Apatow likes to cast non-actors in his film and put in cameos when you least expect it…to the detriment of the flow of the narrative.  He stumbles badly in several places here but is saved by Schumer and Bill Hader as the opposites attract duo that confidently lead the film.  Special mention must, again, be made to Tilda Swinton for disappearing within her role as Schumer’s glam yet grim boss.  Worth it for Schumer, Swinton, and Hader…but watch it at home so you can fast forward through the slow Apatow-ish parts.

                                                           Movie Review ~ Mr. Holmes
mr_holmes_ver2The Facts
:
Synopsis: An aged, retired Sherlock Holmes looks back on his life, and grapples with an unsolved case involving a beautiful woman.
Stars: Ian McKellen, Laura Linney, Hiroyuki Sanada, Roger Allam, Frances de la Tour, Hattie Morahan, Patrick Kennedy, Philip Davis, Milo Parker
Director: Bill Condon
Rated: PG
Running Length: 104 minutes
Trailer Review: Here
TMMM Score: (8/10)
Review:  In reality, I probably should have given Mr. Holmes a more thorough review than I’m about to give here…but I have a feeling I’ll have a chance to discuss it more over the next few months because if all is right with the world Ian McKellen will find himself nominated in a few Best Actor categories during the end of the year awards round-up.  McKellen plays an aged Sherlock Holmes living in the country, attended to by a no-nonsense housekeeper (Laura Linney) and entertained by her young son. There’s actually three Holmes on display here as the present Holmes recalls two previous cases he was involved with that had an impact on his life.  With a smart script from Jeffrey Hatcher adapted from a popular novel, it’s directed with a mellow grandeur by Bill Condon.  Condon and McKellen scored before with the fascinating Gods and Monsters and here’s hoping they go the distance with this one too.  An interesting tidbit, at one point Holmes ventures out to see a Sherlock Holmes movie…and the actor playing Holmes on screen (Nicholas Rowe) played the detective in 1986’s fun frolic Young Sherlock Holmes.

                                                            Movie Review ~ Paper Towns
paper_townsThe Facts
:
Synopsis: A young man and his friends embark upon the road trip of their lives to find the missing girl next door.
Stars: Nat Wolff, Halston Sage, Austin Abrams, Cara Delevingne, Justice Smith
Director: Jake Schreir
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 109 minutes
TMMM Score: (7/10)
Review:  After The Fault in Our Stars became a runaway hit last summer movie studios were looking for the next big alt-teen romance that could lure YA audiences away from summer action flicks.  Turns out they didn’t have to look far because Paper Towns was adapted from the novel by the same author as The Fault in Our Stars.  While Paper Towns doesn’t center around a disease that threatens to tear our lovebirds apart, it has its own mystery about it as Nat Wolff goes looking for his recently vanished neighbor (Cara Delevingne) that he’s been enamored with (or more like fascinated by) since they were children.  Following the clues she seemingly left for him, Wolff and his friends embark on a journey of discovery where they Learn Life Lessons.  The film kept my interest for most of the running length and it’s only in the final passages when all is explained does it feel a little like a letdown.  Still, there’s a smart air of riskiness that elevates the film and more often than not it lands on the good side of taking that risky step.

 

                                                                 Movie Review ~ Pixels
pixelsThe Facts
:
Synopsis: When aliens misinterpret video feeds of classic arcade games as a declaration of war, they attack the Earth in the form of the video games.
Stars: Adam Sandler, Brian Cox, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad
Director: Chris Columbus
Rated: PG-13
Running Length: 105 minutes
TMMM Score: (3/10)
Review: A movie where everyone involved should hang their head in shame.  There’s actually some semblance of a good idea here with aliens attacking earth with classic arcade games but unfortunately it gets trampled by Adam Sandler’s lazy acting, Kevin James bad acting, and Josh Gad’s awful everything.  Michelle Monaghan looks positively embarrassed to be sharing scenes (especially romantic ones) with Sandler and only Peter Dinklage comes out relatively unscathed in a campy, mullet wearing performance.  For fans of ‘80s nostalgia there are some pleasant diversions as video game characters pop up in (supposedly) comical ways and I think that director Chirs Columbus really did give the material a chance to be something interesting…but Sandler and his crew suck the life out of everything and are so devoid of any vested interest that you wonder why you should care at all either.

                                                            Movie Review ~ Southpaw
southpaw_ver2The Facts
:
Synopsis: Boxer Billy Hope turns to trainer Tick Willis to help him get his life back on track.
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker, Rachel McAdams, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Clare Foley, Miguel Gomez, Victor Ortiz, Rita Ora, Naomie Harris
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Rated: R
Running Length: 123 minutes
TMMM Score: (6.5/10)
Review: By now, we know that Jake Gyllenhaal is a smart actor.  With role after role from Prisoners to Nightcrawler to End of Watch we’ve seen that he’s up for most any challenge and likes to dive deep into his roles.  So it’s not surprising that he was drawn to this tale of redemption concerning a famous boxer at the top of his game dealt a series of terrible blows (in more ways than one) and his eventual path back to himself. What is surprising is that while the performances are very good you can’t get away from the fact that the story feels recycled and originally intended for a different set of lower string stars.  I’m always on the fence regarding Forest Whitaker but as the wise boxing manager that grudgingly comes to Gyllenhaal’s aid, the actor reminds us why he so deserved his Best Actor Oscar for The Last King of Scotland.  Also turning in a great performance in Rachel McAdams (The Vow) as Gyllenhaal’s high school sweetheart, mother of his daughter, and the only one that seems to have his best interest at heart.

Southpaw was also at the center of some controversy that arose this summer about movie trailers that give away too much of the film.  If you have seen the trailer for Southpaw you know what I’m talking about…if you haven’t, please go into the movie blind.  I had a faint idea what the spoiler was and even that made the first ¼ of the film much less involving.  Worth it for the performances but gets knocked out by an also-ran plot.

                                                              Movie Review ~ Samba
samba_ver7The Facts
:
Synopsis: Samba migrated to France ten years ago from Senegal, and has since been plugging away at various lowly jobs. Alice is a senior executive who has recently undergone a burn-out. Both struggle to get out of their dead-end lives. Samba’s willing to do whatever it takes to get working papers, while Alice tries to get her life back on track until fate draws them together.
Stars: Omar Sy, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Tahar Rahim, Izia Higelin, Isaka Sawadogo
Director: Olivier Nakache, Eric Toledano
Rated: R
Running Length: 118 minutes
TMMM Score: (5.5/10)
Review: Of all the movies I’m talking about in this wrap-up this is one I’d bet dollars to donuts that you’ve never heard of.  And you couldn’t be blamed because this barely made a blip on the usually forgiving art-house circuit.  From the star and directors of 2012’s dynamite The Intouchables comes this story of an immigrant man living in France who crosses paths with a burned out executive when the man is discovered to be an illegal alien.  Omar Sy (Jurassic World) and Charlotte Gainsbourg don’t have that much chemistry but in a weird way it works for the oddball romance that develops over the course of the film.  I never could get a real feel if the movie was a comedy, drama, or something in between…and neither could most of the people involved.  Slightly recommended but only if the plot or stars appeal to you.

That almost did it for July…but there was still one weekend to go!  Moving up several months from its planned December release, the fifth installment of the Mission: Impossible franchise had its brains in the right place but at times forgot to bring its brawn.  I still prefer Ghost Protocol to Rogue Nation but as long as star Tom Cruise keeps making these films interesting I’ll keep accepting future missions. Here’s hoping he brings along Rebecca Ferguson again because finally there is a female that is every bit a match to Cruise’s daring agent.

I wasn’t sold at all when I heard that Warner Brothers was planning on remaking National Lampoon’s Vacation but as time went on I heard more that it was more of a sequel than a reboot (resequel?) and I started coming around to the idea of a new Vacation.  I enjoyed Ed Helms and Christina Applegate as the hapless couple traveling cross-country with their children…but audiences and most critics didn’t.  It wasn’t a great movie and was probably too crude to be part of your Vacation marathons…but I have to say the worst part about it was when original stars Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo showed up.  Still, I’m hoping it made enough money to warrant a holiday themed sequel.  In any event…it’s a damn sight better than European Vacation.

Wow – July didn’t skimp on variety, did it?  Arguably the hottest month for releases, it carried over the promise of May and June and laid a path for August to do quite well…but could it top the three months that came before it?

STAY TUNED FOR AUGUST

CHECK OUT MAY & JUNE!

The Silver Bullet ~ Room

room_poster

Synopsis: A modern-day story about the boundless love between mother and child.

Release Date:  October 16, 2015

Thoughts: I must admit that after several years I’ve yet to fire up my audiobook of Emma Donoghue’s 2010 bestseller that explores the relationship between and mother and her child, both held captive for years inside one singular room.  Now that the film version is arriving this fall, I guess I’ll gave to get on that.  For those like myself that haven’t made it through the novel, this first teaser shows a little more than I’d expect to see in terms of spoilers but I’ve a feeling that the movie is less about the circumstances surrounding the capture and more about the interaction between the family members.  Starring Brie Larson (The Spectacular Now), William H. Macy (Jurassic Park III), and Joan Allen (The Bourne Legacy)…this one looks like a tough watch considering the subject matter.

The Silver Bullet ~ Trainwreck

APATOW-articleLarge

Synopsis: Since she was a little girl, it’s been drilled into Amy’s head by her rascal of a dad that monogamy isn’t realistic. When she finds herself starting to fall for the subject of the new article she’s writing, Amy starts to wonder if other grown-ups, might be on to something

Release Date:  July 17, 2015

Thoughts: There’s little love lost between me and director Judd Apatow.  Though he’s got a better track record as a producer, in my book his directorial efforts are long, languid, lugubrious, and lame.  Sure, his first few films had a certain freshness to them but by the time we got around to the seriously dreadful This is 40 I literally threw my hands up in exasperation at Apatow’s inability to deliver a movie with true insight or a running length of less than two hours.

With any luck, Apatow is merely the silent conductor on writer/star Amy Schumer’s (Seeking a Friend for the End of the World) comedy train.   The raunchy comedienne would seem to be a natural fit with Apatow’s style but I’d hope she insisted on bringing in an editor to keep the film as compact as possible.  Sadly, I’m not inspired by the overly long trailer or a stream of cameos by famous faces not known for their acting chops.  Still, check out Tilda Swinton (Only Lovers Left Alive)…with her modern feminine look the actress shows again that she’s operating outside the expected.

Movie Review ~ The Gambler (2014)

gambler_ver2

The Facts:

Synopsis: Both an English professor and a high-stakes gambler, Jim Bennett bets it all when he borrows from a gangster and offers his own life as collateral.

Stars: Mark Wahlberg, John Goodman, Jessica Lange, Brie Larson, Michael Kenneth Williams

Director: Rupert Wyatt

Rated: R

Running Length: 111 minutes

TMMM Score: (2/10)

Review: If you must remake a movie, you should at least aim higher than the film you’re giving a new shine to.  That’s sage words of advice for any filmmaker but a message those behind The Gambler didn’t pay much attention to.  The original 1974 film was no classic but it’s leagues better than this sluggish rethinking that never antes up to the table though it has several aces up its sleeve.

Considering the script from Oscar winning screenwriter William Monahan (The Departed) was based on James Toback’s original I was surprised how very different the two movies are.  In fact, it may be wrong to call the movie a remake at all because although the structure follows the original in a very rough sense, many other changes have been made that don’t do any favors for anyone involved.

I’m a person that rarely goes to a casino and if I do, if I find myself even $10 up I’m ready to cash out and head home.  So it’s particularly frustrating me to watch films like The Gambler where characters can’t resist making that one last bet that obliterates their winnings.  It’s a scenario that happens over and over again here and it makes for exhausting viewing.

Mark Wahlberg (Transformers: Age of Extinction) is a floppy haired spoiled rich kid cum failed writer that teaches at a local college and has a nasty gambling habit.  Losing a nice chunk of change and borrowing from a gangster (Michael Kenneth Williams, RoboCop) to cover his losses, it isn’t long before he finds himself caught in the middle of the people he owes and having to figure out how to pay them back while keeping all of his appendages intact.

In Monahan’s script, all the women in Wahlberg’s life are either ice queens (Jessica Lange, Cape Fear, drastically underused and over Botox-ed as his chilly mother), moon-faced admirers (Brie Larson, The Spectacular Now), or strippers/prostitutes with little redeeming value.  At least in Toback’s original script the women represented some quality he was lacking.  Here they have virtually no purpose but to be roadblocks or doormats.

Especially troubling is the storyline that puts a star pupil (Larson) in position to be a love interest for Wahlberg.  Possessing no chemistry, the actors go through the embarrassing motions of courtship that culminates in an out of nowhere kiss that had one audience member at my screening exclaim “Are you KIDDING me?”

Between long soliloquies in the classroom setting that show how well Wahlberg can recite dialogue that makes him appear as if he could be a lit scholar and too many visits with a just this side of deadly loan shark (John Goodman, Argo) the film is less than two hours but feels 40 minutes longer than that.  Capping off with an eye-roll of a coda, this Gambler doesn’t even deserve a place at your cinematic table.  Skip it.