Movie Review ~ Red 2

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The Facts:

Synopsis: Retired C.I.A. agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing portable nuclear device.

Stars: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Byung Hun Lee, Brian Cox, Neal McDonough

Director: Dean Parisot

Rated: PG-13

Running Length: 116 minutes

Trailer Review: Here

TMMM Score: (4/10)

Review:  Merriam-Webster defines goofy as “being crazy, ridiculous, or mildly ludicrous” and also defines silly as “exhibiting or indicative of a lack of common sense or sound judgment”.  Based on a popular graphic novel from DC Comics, 2010’s original Red was a film of goofy fun that was a surprise sleeper hit at the box office thanks in no small part to its game cast willing to poke fun at their gradual over-the-hill-ness.  Unfortunately, the sequel falls into the silly category with the gang reassembled for a movie that feels constructed for a quick buck.

Red 2 throws the audience right back into the middle of the lives of Frank (Bruce Willis, Looper, Moonrise Kingdom), Marvin (John Malkovich, Warm Bodies), and Victoria (Helen Mirren, The Door, Monsters University)…all supposedly classified as Retired and Extremely Dangerous (RED).  It’s hard to put the gun down though so all three still get in on the occasional action, though Frank is more focused on shopping at Costco with his quirky love Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) than playing international spy.

Elements from a mission from Frank’s past pop up suggesting his involvement with smuggling a nuclear device into Russia and that’s when Frank, Marvin, and Sarah have to go on the run to avoid several interested parties in getting their hands on the device and Frank.  This leads to a globe hopping mission that would make James Bond airsick and is punctuated by title cards announcing the latest destination in a redundant fashion (i.e. one moment we are in “England” and then it’s “London”)

Willis is a curious actor that seems to appear in no less than twenty films a year, many of them instantly forgettable.  Still, I enjoy the fact that he seems to realize where he sits on the Hollywood food chain and happily takes the money from the work he gets.  As always, Malkovich keeps things interesting while Parker instills her character with perhaps one too many layers, effectively short-sheeting herself.  You can almost hear Mirren’s eyes rolling throughout the film, yet she comes out largely unscathed thanks to the actress tackling the material and forcing it into submission.

As is the case with most sequels, this one gathers some new folks to replace those that didn’t survive the first film and that’s where the movie starts its rapid swerve off course.  Korean assassin Han Cho Bai (sleepy looking Byung-hun Lee, so much more effective in the nightmare-inducing I Saw the Devil) has some beef with Frank and a running gag of Frank stealing Han’s private plane has little mileage.  Neal McDonough’s American assassin is so perfunctory it almost seems like he was filming scenes for another movie.  While Anthony Hopkins (Hitchcock) is an interesting choice for the role of a looped-out scientist, the script by returning screenwriters Jon and Eric Hoeber never gives the award-winning actor much room to breathe and the result is a stifled performance.

Then there’s Catherine Zeta-Jones (Rock of Ages, Side Effects) as a Russian with the most pronounced Welsh-accent in film history.  I thought several times that Zeta-Jones might just make a meal out of the kitten-esque spy role but she’s treated so poorly by the script that she becomes yet another casualty of uninspired creativity.  In the end, the most dramatic thing about her is her bangs.

Instead of the tongue and cheek approach Robert Schwentke brought to the original, director Dean Parisot instead takes to sticking his tongue out at the audience who paid money to see this overly jokey film that takes shameless product placements to new levels.  It simply never finds its footing and has too many holes and passages that can’t be taken seriously.  The action sequences are devoid of any excitement and its PG-13 rating means that while lots of guns get fired and bombs explode there is nary a speck of blood in the entire film.  I’m not advocating for splatter sprayed all around just for the hell of it but the film was clearly trimmed of any/all serious violence to stay within its rating.

Red 2 is the most disappointing kind of sequel – one that tries to outdo the first without tipping its hat to any of the elements that made the original so appealing.  It’s a lazy and cheap looking film that might make for a decent rental down the road on a day you’re home sick from work.  That way, you can fall asleep in your own bed rather than in a movie theater and not feel quite as guilty.  Skip it.

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